they want her. The only way we aren’t going to raise any suspicions is if we continue as normal.”
“I don’t like it,” Huxley growled for the fourteenth time. Neither did I, but I didn’t say it. This was what I wanted, right? A chance to avenge Josiah, save Cyler and Maverick?
“You don’t really have a choice. If she decided not to go, they’d snoop around. Pretentious assholes,” Jules lined my lips with red, the bold shade complimenting my tan skin. Despite the destination, I smiled at my reflection. I didn’t feel like myself, but the effect of Jules’ skill almost convinced me that I could handle this. Maybe if I accepted my new persona, pretended to be this Shade person for a night, I could survive. She sprayed me with perfume, making me cough on the citrus scent.
“You look gorgeous,” Jacob’s mindspeak said from behind me. “I agree with Huxley. I don’t want her anywhere near those dicks, I want her home with us.”
Kemper continued to scroll through his tablet. I looked in the mirror, and in the reflection, my eyes connected with Patrick’s. Pale and jaw clenched, he looked wild with worry. I had to convince him that this was nothing more than an evening out. That I’d come home and slip into bed with him like I’ve done so many nights before. I spun around in my chair and stood. Patrick reached his hands out to me, and I nuzzled into him for a hug, burrowing my face against his chest and letting him steal some comfort from our hug.
“Maybe you should just plan on taking that pill the second you walk through the doors? I’ll nurse you back to health.”
I giggled against him. “Will you sing me more nursery rhymes and cradle me?” I asked. He began rocking me slowly as he hummed a quiet song meant just for us. The soothing dance warmed me from within, filling me with peace before the wave of reality crashed back along the shore.
“I’ll do whatever you want me to, Ash,” he murmured into my sleek, straight hair while cupping my neck. He began spinning me around the small bathroom, chuckling some when we bumped into Jacob who let out a curse and clutched his groin.
“Watch where you’re going, for fuck’s sake,” his mindspeak said as he growled through gritted teeth. That earned a laugh from Huxley, and soon we were all enjoying ourselves, even Jules.
Kemper tapped Patrick on the shoulder then held out a box to me. “It’s the fake fetter,” he said with a frown. I stared at the foreboding box, trying to think of another way around it, but ultimately opened the creaky wood and slipped on the brass fetter without a second glance. I wanted the chance to prove myself, I couldn’t back out now over a piece of fake jewelry. Kemper backed away, his hands wrapped around his middle, and Patrick resumed swaying with me.
“Am I terrible for saying I want to see Maverick and Cyler? I’m actually pretty excited about that,” I finally said.
I’d walk through hell to see my men. I’d kiss the devil for a lifetime with them. No cost was too great. Strength came in many forms. Love was messy. I’d once chosen myself. I’d learned how to prioritize self-love over something toxic, it’s what led me to Dormas in the first place. But now? Now, I had to learn how to navigate the all-consuming self-sacrificing kind of love. The love that forced you to step outside of your comfort zone. The love that made danger seem inconsequential compared to a life without them.
And that’s what I felt for all my men.
Huxley burst out in another series of laughter, startling us all. I slowly turned to face him, keeping Patrick close. Huxley was bent over, clutching his stomach as he shook. Was this it? Was this how Huxley finally lost his mind? We all stared worriedly as he stood to wipe his juniper eyes.
“Oh man,” he said as a couple more chuckles escaped. “I just realized you’re gonna see Cyler and Maverick. You know what they’re gonna do once they realize you willingly walked into Cavil’s home?”
Suddenly, Jacob’s mindspeak said “oh fuck” while Patrick cursed and Kemper frantically flipped through his tablet once more.
“Cyler’s into spanking, isn’t he?” Patrick asked while wrapping his arms tighter around me.
“I think so. You shouldn’t worry as much about Cavil, and worry more about what Maverick and Cyler are going to do once they see