I found myself making facial expressions in the mirror and staring at the red lipstick Jules so carefully painted on me.
My skin was tanned from being in the sun the last five months, and Louis brought eye drops which temporarily changed the color of my irises to grey. I’d have to add drops every morning, but the overall look was...haunting.
It was me, I knew that much, but the woman in my reflection was cold. Was this what my men saw when they looked at me? The numb, unfeeling woman just scratching the surface of existence?
“Ash?” Kemper’s voice called out from behind me. I sucked in a deep breath before turning to face him.
“You might want to get used to calling me Shade,” I said with a half-grin. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. The new name Louis assigned me in the database felt foreign on my lips. I’d have to practice introducing myself as such if I wanted to survive. It felt like each step closer to revenge I got, the less of myself I had.
“Shade? That's an interesting choice,” Kemper mused while walking forward. He pinched my lightened hair between his fingertips. “I miss your curls,” he whispered.
“As much as I’m happy that you like my curls, I’ll admit that the maintenance of the straight hair will be a relief. Jules said the chemical she used will last for a month! Can you believe this magic serum to tame my hair has been around all this time?” I asked incredulously, joking to hide that I felt like a foreigner in my own skin. Jules was efficient and well-versed in the arts of pampering and appearance. It was jarring almost. She went from cleaning her knife to discussing the proper tint of red for a Companion to wear. She transitioned through her personalities efficiently. I wondered if I’d be able to go from Shade to Ash as quickly.
“I think you could shave your hair off, and I’ll still find you addicting,” Kemper said before leaning forward to kiss my forehead. “Madam B wants you to come down and meet the other Companions.”
“Okay,” I replied nervously. Madam’s words still echoed in my mind. I felt inadequate in this role. Jules could dress me up, but my inexperience was in the way I carried myself.
Kemper must have seen the unease in my expression because he immediately went to fix-it mode. “What's wrong, sweetheart?” he asked while gripping the bathroom countertop, caging me between his arms.
“I’m not as experienced…”
I could feel Kemper’s eyes boring into me as I stood there; he looked me over, pausing at my chest where the dress Jules picked was draped dangerously low. The see-through material had gained all of his attention.
“Everything about you is sexy. I want you to be the first thing I touch in the morning,” Kemper said in a hoarse voice before kissing my neck. “And at night? I want you to be the last thing I taste.”
Kemper kissed my collarbone while teasing my hardened nipples through the thin material of my dress. “I love your heart. I love how honest you are. I love the way you treat others. I love how you dive into your passions and sacrifice yourself. But don’t doubt for one second that I don’t find you completely, fucking, ridiculously sexy. I think I’ve been perpetually hard since meeting you,” he said with a chuckle.
“Oh really?” I asked. My voice was low and raspy as he continued to massage my skin.
Kemper grabbed my hand and forced me to drag my touch down his trim chest and stomach, traveling lower until I could feel how hard he was.
“Feel what you do to me, Ash. Own it. You make my cock ache."
I let out a gasp as I stroked him, begging to dip inside his pants to feel him without the barrier of clothes, but before my fingers could travel beneath his waistband, he stopped me.
“We don’t have time, sweetheart. But believe me, if I could—I would. I’ll happily remind you for the rest of your life how desired you are. I might not like this plan, but I definitely don’t want these people to shake your confidence.”
I pulled my hand back, and Kemper crashed his lips to mine, infusing his confidence and attraction into our kiss. My plump lips seemed more sensitive, and when he bit my bottom lip, I gasped at the sharp yet pleasurable sensation.
Kemper wrapped one hand around my neck and the other through my hair.