making her cry and even more for accepting the fact that I’d have to do it again. And again. And again.
A commotion near the emergency room entrance drew my gaze as a distraught Jamie and Bee rushed inside. I lifted my hand, waving to get their attention. Once they noticed me, I turned back to where Tyra had been to find her gone again.
Fuck.
Shoving to my feet, I ignored the puzzled looks Jamie and Bee gave me as I shoved past them without so much as a “hello” and headed for the elevators. After scanning the floor chart on the wall for the maternity ward, I stabbed the up button. My hands shook as I waited for the elevator to take me to the second floor. Four appeared by my side seconds later though I ignored her. Whatever she had to say, I doubt it was kind, and even though I deserved her wrath and venom, I wasn’t in the mood.
“She’s on the third floor,” she informed me after several seconds passed. I followed her finger to where she pointed on the chart. “In the NICU.”
My heart rose to my throat. “What?”
“That’s where you’ll find them.” The look she gave me then was sharp enough to kill. “If you hurt either of them,” she whispered, “Lou and I will bury you alive. We’ve already got a nice, secluded spot picked out.” She paused, cocking her head to the side. “Maybe we’ll toss in some poisonous snakes, too.”
Without another word, she sauntered away just as the elevator doors opened. I wasn’t dumb enough not to believe her. For some reason, however, I wasn’t afraid of the possibility. Everything I’d done had been to keep Tyra safe. I’d do no less for my son. Stepping inside the elevator, I stabbed the button for the third floor. My hands shook the entire way up.
At nineteen, I was far from ready, but was anyone ever really?
How the hell would I move forward? How would I take care of them? Questions that needed answers.
When the doors opened, and I stepped onto the floor, I felt drawn by a magnet. There was a wash station outside the sliding doors where I followed the directives posted, and then after sanitizing my hands, I entered the NICU. Several cries filled the floor, and I wondered if any of them belonged to my son. The nurse at the reception pointed out the room I was looking for after giving her Tyra’s name. Each one of my steps felt heavy as I headed in that direction.
Here goes everything. Every-fucking-thing.
I realized for the first time since letting Tyra go that I still had something to lose. My heart had been hers, but now it belonged to someone else, too. Someone I’d never even met.
The glass door was automated, so it slid open the moment I approached, and I slowly stepped inside. The room was empty save for a couch, a recliner, and machines surrounding a crib.
Tyra was nowhere to be found.
I didn’t realize I was walking until I stood over the crib. The moment my gaze connected with the baby inside, my knees threatened to buckle. He started kicking his legs, and what seemed like an excited smile spread his lips.
As if he’d been waiting for me.
I couldn’t stop staring as my grip tightened on the railing that kept him safely inside. The need to hold him was great, but, fuck, he was small. So very fragile. I didn’t know much about babies, but even for a newborn, he seemed tiny as fuck. I wanted to find Tyra and interrogate her, but I couldn’t take my gaze away. I couldn’t bring my feet to move. I could have stood here forever.
“He was born three months ago.”
The whisper came from behind me. I turned and found Tyra standing inside a door with what looked like a private bathroom behind her. Her whiskey gaze seemed to dim as I scowled at her admission. Tyra hadn’t been pregnant the night at the party. I think I would have fucking noticed if she’d been that far along since I’d had my dick in her every goddamn day. I’d been fucking her constantly as if my every breath depended on it. “I was only six months pregnant,” she explained at my look. “River could have fit in your palm. Better than any football.”
I wanted to rip her a new one for the scorn I heard in her tone at that last part, but I could only