TV. I kicked myself for sleeping so late. Thankfully, River didn’t look like he’d suffered.
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
He shrugged. “What for?”
“So I could take care of River?”
Losing his patience, he finally turned his head away from Blue’s Clues. “As you can see, I’ve done that.”
Running my fingers through my hair, I told myself to get a grip as shame filled me. I wasn’t upset because of River, and yet I was making it about him. He looked perfectly content, lying in his father’s arms. It was Vaughn and my sister that had caused the slow slip of my sanity. How could he put me in that bed and in that room after what he’d done with her in there? How could he think I’d be okay reliving it?
Rather than ask, I forced myself to take my own advice about not changing the past and let it go. “I’m sorry. Thank you for looking after River.”
Vaughn looked down his nose at me, telling me I’d somehow put my foot in my mouth again. “You don’t need to thank me for taking care of my son.”
“Fine. Thank you for letting me sleep in. Now that I’m awake, though, we should get going.” I paused, chewing on my lip. “Can you give us a ride home?”
Vaughn stood from the couch, but the relief I felt was short-lived. “You are home.” He started for the stairs with River, and by the time he reached them, I shook free of my shock.
“What do you mean?” I squeaked as I trailed him upstairs. I hated that my voice didn’t sound stronger. “We can’t stay here.”
Vaughn entered one of the spare bedrooms, and I followed. What I found inside—the walls painted to look like raging waves—took my breath away, and I forgot all about the bomb Vaughn dropped in my lap.
He’d turned the spare bedroom into a nursery.
Everything River would need was right inside this room. There was a crib, a changing table fully stocked, and even a rocking chair in the corner. Vaughn crossed the room and placed River inside the gray crib before ushering me out and shutting the door. I wanted to open it again and admire it some more. It was perfect. I almost felt guilty for wanting to take River away.
“Why can’t you stay?”
As patiently as I could, I explained why that would be a huge mistake. Nothing good could come of it. “Because that’s something parents do when they’re together, which you and I are not. We’re barely civil, Vaughn.”
“It’s not a big deal. I can sleep in the third bedroom.”
“And where do I sleep?” I challenged.
“The master bedroom is bigger and closer to River. You’ll be comfortable in there.”
“You mean the one where I caught you and my sister together?”
Vaughn’s lips snapped shut at the reminder. I could tell he hadn’t even thought of that. It was almost like my sister had ceased to exist to him. Stupidly, the thought filled my belly with warmth.
“Then I’ll take the master,” he continued to bargain. “You can take the spare.”
“But that’s what you’re not getting!” I exploded. I couldn’t just feel the sob clogging my throat. I could hear it trying to break free. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be trapped inside of these walls and reminded of what you did!” I’d needed alcohol last night just to bear it.
For some reason, I kept that part to myself. It had all been for River even though he’d slept the entire party. Secretly, I admitted that I hadn’t wanted to put my feelings before my friends and family yet again. Not after all the trouble they’d gone through for River and me.
So I drowned myself in alcohol to hide the drowning I felt inside.
Vaughn glowered down at me for a long time. If he felt remorse for the fumble he’d made, he didn’t show it. Nostrils flaring, he finally spoke. “Then do what you want, but River stays here.”
I didn’t follow him when he pushed past me for the stairs.
I snagged the keys to the hideous minivan the moment Vaughn dropped his guard. Some detectives had shown up to speak to him, and although I wanted to know the reason why, I realized this would be my only chance at freedom.
Technically, he wasn’t holding me hostage, but he also knew I wasn’t going anywhere without River. It was a clever move. To keep me captive without breaking the law.
I had the baby buckled in and was speeding