were kind, the floor would open up and swallow me whole, but fate had a twisted sense of humor.
“Uhh, yeah, sure,” Oliver stumbled to agree. “Well, I guess this is good night.”
I waved as he headed for the elevators before stepping inside the room. Ignoring my father, who was busy putting on his coat, I immediately headed for the open crib where the incubator used to be. I wasn’t at all surprised to find River awake. He’d become a bit of a night owl in the weeks since he stopped breathing and simultaneously ripped out my heart. I was surprised to see the deep frown on his face as he waved his fist.
“What’s the matter, Riv?”
His only response was to turn his head as if he couldn’t stand the sight of me. Puzzled, I checked his pamper while he sucked on his fist and found it dry. Only a couple of weeks from being discharged, he was on a precise feeding schedule to pack on those last few ounces he needed, so I knew he’d been fed less than an hour ago. I started to pick him up, but then Nurse Honey’s warning echoed in my mind. It was ironic how much had changed in the last few weeks. I’d gone from running at the prospect of holding my baby to being scolded for holding him too much.
Feeling belligerent, I picked him up anyway. He was mine, and I was his. I could damn well hold him when I pleased.
“Tyra,” my father sighed as I made my way to the recliner. “It’s late. He needs to be in his crib.”
“But something’s wrong,” I said as I cradled River against my chest. “He’s upset.”
River’s eyebrows were thicker now. Bunched together, I realized that he looked just like his dumbass daddy when he frowned. I held him against my chest and wondered if the hours we’d spent in this chair these past few weeks could really be contributed to his rapid development. River was now considered full-term, but because of the reflux and apnea he experienced a few weeks ago, his doctor had extended our stay until my due date to be safe.
I didn’t even want to think about how much the extra couple of weeks in the hospital would cost. I didn’t care. As long as River was healthy, nothing else mattered. Not the money, not Harvard, not even the fact that Vaughn had no interest in being a father. Leaning down, I gently touched the tip of our noses. “I’m sorry, River. It looks like it’s just us.”
A tear slipped from my eye just as he started to cry.
Vaughn was a creature of habit, and the diner a few blocks from the hospital was very much a part of his routine. I knew the risk I was taking by allowing Oliver to bring me here, but I decided that the reward of running into Vaughn was too sweet to pass up. It wasn’t enough for him to know that I was the one who’d destroyed his precious car. I also wanted him to see that I hadn’t allowed his lies and betrayal to bury me. I was very much alive, and with or without him, River and I would thrive.
Recalling how big the burgers were, I settled for a basket of fries and a coke while Oliver demolished his turkey burger. “So,” he said as he pushed the empty food basket away. “Do you think you’ll go back to Harvard in the fall?”
My stomach churned as everything I’d eaten threatened to return to the surface. I knew sooner or later I’d have to accept the inevitable and withdraw from school permanently. I’d considered every possibility, every scenario, and even with my father’s help, there was just no way, not without my scholarship and not without—My lips tightened as the rot that had taken over my heart threatened to expand again.
Fuck Vaughn Rees.
“I don’t think it’s in the cards. Even if I hadn’t lost my scholarship, I couldn’t ask my dad to play the role of a single father all over again while I’m away at school living carefree. I’ve been selfish long enough.”
“I don’t think you’re selfish,” Oliver whispered. “Not every road traveled will be easy. The scrapes and bruises you earn along the way are inevitable. The real test is at the end of your journey. It’s when you decide whether to let those wounds fester or allow them to heal.”
I thought about what he said as I watched