seemed suspiciously mischievous—as if he knew exactly where I’d been and who with.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever have the heart to tell him that his father didn’t want him. Vaughn hadn’t answered any of my phone calls or messages or even the letter I’d grown desperate enough to write him a few weeks ago. In it, I’d poured my heart out, telling him all about River.
He hadn’t even asked about his son.
Vaughn had only been concerned with my body and who I dared to share it with. If nothing else, he definitely deserved the headache he’d have whenever he woke up.
River was greedily sucking at his bottle when a voice over the loudspeaker announced a code gray—whatever that meant—and called for a lockdown of the ER.
“Oh, my,” one of the day nurses said, excited, and then she wrote on the whiteboard next to River’s crib. “It’s been a while since we had one of those. I guess I better watch the news tonight.”
“What’s a code gray?” I asked as I set River’s bottle aside and lifted him onto my shoulder to burp him.
“Gunshot victim.” Grimly, she added, “It’s going to be a long day for a lot of people.”
My eyebrows rose at that. At least it wasn’t a bomb threat like I initially feared. “Does the hospital really shut down the entire emergency room for one person?”
“If the victim is still alive, it’s safer that way, sweetie. Whoever did this might want to finish the job, and then we’ll all be in danger.” She flounced out the room, and my lips pursed, realizing she was probably headed for all the action.
If I were honest, I’d admit to being curious too though it was likely a huge waste of time. How much would I really get to see if the emergency room was shut down? The victim was probably already in surgery if the doctors deemed it necessary. I said a quick prayer for the poor soul as I waited for River to burp. Of course, he took longer than usual. When he was finally done, I rocked him until his eyes drifted shut and then put him down for his nap.
I wasn’t sure how long I watched him sleep, studying his nose, his lips, his golden skin, and the wisps of brown hair peeking from underneath his cap. He was still so small, even though he was twice the size he’d been when he was born. Feeling that familiar ache of guilt and shame, I stepped away. Grabbing the baby monitor that I’d shamelessly purchased, even though River was surrounded by the world’s most qualified babysitters, I drifted from his private room. On the way down, I tried calling Oliver again but to no avail. Even though I was disappointed, I didn’t blame him if he wanted nothing to do with me ever again. Vaughn had made it clear, though untrue, that there was unfinished business between us.
As I expected, the first floor was in chaos when I stepped off the elevator. There were nurses in scrubs and doctors in lab coats rushing back and forth, some of them in and out of the double doors leading into the emergency room. Some of them covered in blood. My gaze traveled the area, looking for any sign of distraught loved ones waiting nearby. Seeing nothing but curiosity and weariness, I turned back to the emergency room just as the doors burst open.
I sucked in a breath at the sight of a girl who stood at average height with skin paler than usual and waist-long hair as dark as night. I didn’t see much else before the doors swung closed, but I didn’t need to. I recognized my friend staring blankly through the window of the trauma room, her pretty blue dress darkened with blood. Not caring that I wasn’t allowed in, I pushed through the doors, heading straight for Lou. Thankfully, no one stopped me. They were all too busy fighting to save Wren’s life to notice me.
“Lou?”
Slowly, her head turned. Her lips were parted, her blue eyes glistening. “It’s my fault,” she whispered as soon as her unseeing gaze connected with mine. I almost expected her wrath. Grief kept her from remembering she hadn’t seen nor heard from me in six months. Lou turned back to the trauma room where Wren was lying deathly still as the doctors and nurses worked on him. “I didn’t lock the door.”
Speechless and out of my depth, there was nothing I could do but