ear and sinking into my hair. I tried to choke it back, but I hadn't cried since that first night in here, at least not while I was awake. I'd fought against this hopeless, painful feeling with everything I had and now the dams were breaking and I knew I was helpless to stop it.
I rolled onto my side and curled in on myself as my mind stayed fixed on Ethan for a long moment before moving to Roary. I'd promised to get him out of here and all I'd managed to do so far was screw everything up and get myself locked away in a box in the pits of hell. I was so fucking useless. It was no wonder he didn't want me. Maybe I really was the same stupid pup he thought I was. Bigger tits and a cockier attitude didn't make me anything special. Maybe I was just full of shit and so desperate to fulfil the promise I'd made to rescue him from this hell ten years ago that I'd even managed to bullshit myself into believing I could.
Fuck, I missed him. I'd been missing him for so fucking long that it shouldn't have even been possible to ache for him more than I had been before I came here, but I was. Everything was different here. Before he'd been this unreachable fantasy and now he was more like the keeper of my tortured heart. It might have been bloody and ruined but it still beat for him. I was pretty sure it had since the very first time I'd laid eyes on him when he didn't even know I existed. Shit, sometimes it still felt like he didn't know I existed. I was just the dumb pup who'd come here spouting promises I was unlikely to ever keep now. Cain had forgotten me down here. He'd wanted to prove to me how little I meant to him and the world and he'd done a fucking good job of that.
That tug in my chest resounded through me again and I was sure that somewhere Ethan was in just as much pain as I was. And even the thought of that just cut me deeper, knowing my pain was hurting him and that I couldn't go to him.
I buried my face in my palms and sobbed as the utter hopelessness of my situation suffocated me and I was forced to consider the fact that I might just die down here. All alone and forgotten in the dark. As useless and pathetic as my papa had always claimed I was.
"Shit."
I almost didn't register the soft curse that came from behind me, but the rush of warm air from the corridor beyond my cell washed over my skin and forced me to accept that it was real.
A hand brushed against my shoulder half a second before I was rolling over and scrambling backwards until I hit the wall at the rear of my cell where I could glare at the guard who had found me in my weakest moment with as much venom as I could muster.
And of course it wasn't just any guard. Mason Cain stood in the doorway, highlighted by the fluorescent lights out in the corridor as he just fucking stared at me like I was supposed to be the one to break this silence between us.
"Twelve," he began hesitantly.
"Vaffanculo," I spat venomously, meaning it more than I think I'd ever meant that phrase in my entire life. Fuck you.
He took a step towards me and I stood as fast as I could manage, refusing to cower at his fucking feet even after he'd found me like this. I almost blacked out as I stood so damn fast thanks to the fact that I hadn't eaten for...well, I had no fucking idea because I had no fucking clock to go by, but I’d worked out that the food only came twice a day and tasted like utter shit. Perks of being in the hole and all.
Cain shot forward and caught my arm to steady me and I shoved him off with a deep snarl, baring my teeth at him, all fucking Wolf, reminding him that he was cornering a wild predator right now even if he had found me sobbing.
Cain released me and took a step back like he realised I was about three seconds away from ripping his throat out with my damn teeth even if my canines weren't as sharp as I would