is likely the single most appreciated thing you’ve ever done.”
“I’d appreciate you shutting up about how great you are once in a while,” I said, but I smiled and stuck the radio onto my backpack.
“I’m not appreciating that comment,” he noted softly. “Just so you know.”
I flipped the radio off, then stood up and stretched. A few First Citizen busts seemed to glare at me from nearby. Including a younger Cobb. How strange to look at an image of him now that I knew him so well. He shouldn’t look young. Hadn’t he been born a crusty fifty-year-old man?
I shouldered my pack and wandered back toward the flight school building.
An MP stood right outside the main entrance.
I stopped in place. Then, worried, I approached.
“Cadet Nightshade?” the MP asked. “Callsign: Spin.”
My heart sank.
“Admiral Ironsides would like to speak with you.”
I nodded.
The MP led me to the building where I’d met Jorgen and the admiral that once. As we neared, my sense of resignation grew. Somehow I’d known this was coming. Staying with the girls last night had been a bad idea, but . . . this wasn’t about one little infraction.
It seemed to me, as I stepped into the building, that a confrontation had been growing inevitable. I deserved this for what I’d done to Jorgen, twice over. More telling, the admiral was the most powerful person in the DDF, while I was the daughter of a coward. In some ways, it was remarkable she hadn’t found a way to kick me out before this.
It was time for it to end. I was a fighter, yes, but a good fighter knew when a battle was unwinnable.
The MP deposited me inside the admiral’s shockingly messy office. Ironsides was drinking coffee at her desk, looking over some report, her back to me.
“Close the door,” she said.
I obeyed.
“There’s a note here on the security reports at the gate. You didn’t leave last night. Have you made a hidey-hole in one of the maintenance closets or something?”
“Yes,” I said, relieved that at least she didn’t know the others had helped me.
“Have you eaten mess hall food? Stolen by your own hand, or smuggled out for you by one of your flightmates?”
I hesitated. “Yes.”
The admiral sipped her coffee, still not looking toward me. I stared at her back, her silvery hair, bracing myself for the words. You’re out.
“Don’t you think it’s time to stop this farce?” she said, turning a page. “Drop out now. I’ll let you keep your cadet’s pin.”
I frowned. Why . . . ask? Why not just say the words? She had the power now that I’d broken her rules, didn’t she?
Ironsides turned her chair, fixing me with a cold stare. “Nothing to say, cadet?”
“Why do you care so much?” I asked. “I’m only one girl. I’m no threat to you.”
The admiral set down her coffee, then stood. She straightened her crisp white uniform jacket, then stepped up to me. Like most people, she towered over me.
“You think this is about my pride, girl?” Ironsides asked. “If I let you continue in the DDF, you’ll get good people killed when you inevitably run. So, I offer again. Walk away with the pin. In the city below, it should be enough to secure you any number of jobs, many quite lucrative.”
She stared at me, hard. And suddenly it made sense.
She couldn’t kick me out. Not because she lacked the power, but because . . . she needed me to prove that she was right. She needed me to drop out, give up, because that was what a coward would do.
Her rules weren’t about tricking me into an infraction. They were about making my life terrible so that I backed down. If she kicked me out, I could continue the narrative. I could claim my family had been wronged. I could scream about my father’s innocence. My treatment would only support my victimhood. Not being able to sleep in the cadet quarters? No food during my training? That would look terrible.
But if I walked away, she won. It was the only way she won.
In that moment, I was more powerful than the very admiral in command of the Defiant Defense Force.
So I saluted. “Can I return to my classes now, sir?”
A blush rose to her cheeks. “You’re a coward. From a family of cowards.”
I held the salute.
“I could destroy you. See you impoverished. You don’t want me as an enemy. Reject my kind offer now, and you will never have another chance at it.”
I held