positioning strongly indicated they’d found Alta Base. We fought off one attack, but they regrouped. As they were preparing to come at us again, your father panicked. He screamed that the enemy force was too big, that we were all going to die. He—”
“Who did he say it to? The entire flight?”
Cobb paused. “Yes. All four of us who were left, anyway. Well, he screamed and screamed, then he broke off and began flying away. You have to understand how dangerous that was for us. We were literally fighting for the survival of our species—if other ships started fleeing, it would have been chaos. We couldn’t afford to—”
“You followed him,” I interrupted. “He took off and flew away, and you followed. Then you shot him down?”
“The order came almost immediately from our flightleader. Shoot him down, to make an example and prevent anyone else from fleeing. I was right on his tail, and he wouldn’t respond to our pleas. So I hit my IMP and brought down his shield, then . . . then I shot. I’m a soldier. I obey orders.”
The pain in his voice was so real, so personal, it almost made me feel ashamed for pushing him. For the first time . . . my resolve shook. Could it be true?
“You swear to me?” I asked. “That’s exactly how it happened?”
Cobb finally met my eyes. He held them this time, and didn’t look away—but he also didn’t answer my question. I saw him harden as he set his jaw. And in that moment, I knew that his nonanswer was an answer. He’d given me the official story.
And it was a lie.
“It’s past time for you to be going, cadet,” Cobb said. “If you want a copy of the official record, I can get you one.”
“But it’s a lie. Isn’t it?” I looked to him again, and he gave the faintest, almost imperceptible nod.
My entire world lit up. I should have been angry. I should have been furious at Cobb for pulling the trigger. Instead, I was elated.
My father hadn’t run. My father wasn’t a coward.
“But why?” I asked. “What’s to be gained by pretending one of your pilots fled?”
“Go,” Cobb said, pointing. “That’s an order, cadet.”
“This is why Ironsides doesn’t want me in the DDF,” I realized. “She knows I’ll ask questions. Because . . . Scud, she was your flightleader, wasn’t she? The one who gave the order to shoot my father down? The name was redacted in the reports, but she’s the only one who fits . . .”
I looked back at Cobb, and his face was growing red with anger. Or maybe embarrassment. He’d just given me a secret, an important one, and . . . well, he looked like he was having second thoughts. I wasn’t going to get any more out of him right now.
I grabbed my pack and hurried out. My heart was broken for the friends I’d lost, and now I’d have to deal with the fact that my instructor was also my father’s killer.
But for now . . . well, I felt like a soldier planting her flag at the top of a hard-fought hill. All these years I’d dreamed, and studied, and trusted that my father had actually been a hero.
And I’d been right.
22
“What reason,” Rig asked as we worked together, “could the DDF possibly have to pretend your father was a coward?”
“I can think of dozens of scenarios,” I said, lying underneath M-Bot beside him.
Five days had passed since the event. Since we’d lost Bim and Morningtide. Working with Rig off-hours, repairing the ship, had been a welcome solace from my own thoughts—even if it was taxing to get up early like I had today, work on the ship, then go to class and endure Cobb’s instructions all day.
Today, we were unhooking wires from M-Bot’s belly and replacing them with new ones. Some of the old ones seemed good, but Rig figured we should replace them all just in case, and I wasn’t going to argue with his expertise.
I plugged in another wire and threaded it according to the instructions Rig had drawn out earlier. My light-line glowed from within the ship, wound through the innards to give us light, itself like a glowing wire.
“There are literally hundreds of reasons the DDF would lie about my father,” I said as I worked. “Maybe my father was in conflict with Ironsides about leadership, and she decided to make him have an ‘accident.’ ”
“In the middle of the most