just need a minute, okay? Leave me alone.”
“You’re disobeying orders!”
Oh, scud. I couldn’t deal with him right now. I was embarrassed, exhausted, and increasingly angry. It had been a long training session.
“Well?” Jerkface said, looming over me. Nearby, the others disengaged their holograms and stood up, stretching.
My face grew cold. And I started to feel myself losing control.
Calm, Spensa. You can be calm. I forced down the anger and stood up. I needed to get out of the room.
“What do you have to say?” Jerkface demanded. “Why do you keep denying my authority?”
“What authority?” I snapped, grabbing my pack and walking toward the doorway.
“Running away?” Jerkface said. “How appropriate.”
I stopped in place.
“I guess we should expect insubordination from the daughter of Zeen Nightshade,” he said. “Your family doesn’t exactly have a pedigree for obeying orders, does it?”
Coldness in my face. Heat burning deep within.
That’s it.
I turned around slowly, then walked back to Jerkface and quietly dropped my pack.
He looked down on me, sneering. “You—”
I dropped to one knee, then slammed my fist into his knee. He gasped, and when he buckled over in pain, I pushed upward and rammed my elbow into his gut. The way he grunted felt good. stoking something primal inside me.
My elbow knocked the breath out of him, preventing him from shouting out. So, while he was stunned, I hooked my ankle around his and sent him slamming backward to the floor.
He was bigger than I was. If he recovered, he’d overpower me, so I leaped on top of him and raised my fist, preparing to slam it down into his stupid face.
There I stopped, trembling. Furious. But somehow also cold and calm, like I got when fighting the Krell. Like I was both absolutely in control, but somehow utterly out of control.
Jerkface stared up at me, frozen, seeming completely stunned. That stupid face of his. That sneer. That was how they all talked about me. That was how they all thought of me!
“Whoa!” Nedd said. “Holy scud!”
I knelt there on top of Jerkface, trembling, with my hand raised.
“Really, wow!” Nedd said, kneeling down beside us. “Spin, that was incredible. Can you teach me that?”
I glanced at him.
“We don’t learn hand-to-hand,” he said, making some chopping motions. “Cobb says it’s useless, but what if a Krell tries to—you know—jump me in an alley or something?”
“Nobody has ever seen a Krell alive, you idiot,” Hurl said.
“Yeah, but what if that’s because—like—they always jump people in alleys. right? You ever think about that?”
I looked down at Jerkface. I could suddenly hear myself breathing in quick gasps.
“Spin,” Nedd said. “It’s okay. You were just showing us some hand-to-hand moves, right? How did you do that trip? You’re, like, half as tall as Jorgen is.”
Calm. Breathe.
“Half as tall?” Arturo said. “Might I point out that would make her less than a meter tall? Your math is suspect.”
I pulled back from Jerkface, who let out a breath and went limp. FM looked horrified, though Nedd flashed me a thumbs-up. Arturo was shaking his head. Kimmalyn stood with her hand to her mouth, while Hurl—I couldn’t read Hurl. She had her arms crossed, and she studied me, thoughtful.
Jorgen stumbled to his feet, holding his stomach. “She struck a superior. She assaulted another member of her flight!”
“She went a little overboard, yeah,” Nedd said. “But, I mean, you asked for it, Jorgen. No permanent damage, right? Can’t we just forget about it?”
Jorgen looked at me, and his expression hardened.
No. This wouldn’t be forgotten. I was in serious trouble this time. I met his eyes, then—finally—I grabbed my pack and left.
24
It had been years since I’d lost it that bad.
For all my aggressive talk, I really hadn’t gotten in that many fights as a kid. I pretended I was some warrior or something, but the truth was that when most kids heard the way I talked, they backed off. And if I was being honest, their hesitance was probably less about being afraid of me, and more about being made uncomfortable by my bizarre air of confidence.
It worked. It kept them away, and didn’t put me in situations where I lost control. Because I could do that, and not like a brave warrior from the stories. More like a cornered, frenzied rat. Like when I’d caught Finn Elstin stealing Rig’s lunch. Finn had ended up with a black eye and a broken arm. I’d had to spend a year on juvenile probation, and had been kicked out of judo classes for inappropriate use of