“You don’t know it, kid, but you’re at the center of an argument that goes back generations. Some people say that your father proves that cowardice is genetic. They think there’s some . . . defect inside you.”
Cobb’s expression grew grim, his voice softer. “I think that’s utter nonsense. I don’t know what happened to your father—I don’t know why my friend tried to kill me, or why I was forced to shoot him down. Killing him has haunted me; I don’t think I could ever fly again. But one thing I can’t believe is that someone is destined to be a coward or a traitor. No, I can’t accept that. I could never accept that.”
He pointed toward the sky. “But Ironsides does believe it. She is certain you’ll inevitably turn into either a coward or a traitor. You prove her wrong by getting back into the sky and becoming a model pilot—one so scudding perfect everyone feels embarrassed to have ever questioned you.”
“And . . . what if they’re right? What if I am a coward, or what if I do end up—”
“Don’t ask stupid questions, cadet! Strap in! Your flight is ready!”
“Yes, sir!” I said immediately, strapping in. As I raised my helmet to my head, Cobb took hold of my arm.
“Sir?” I asked.
He considered for a moment. He looked one way, then the other. “Do you ever see anything . . . strange, Spin?” he asked. “In the darkness?”
“Like what?”
“Eyes,” he said softly.
I shivered, and my cockpit felt suddenly colder.
“Hundreds of small eyes,” he said, “opening up in the blackness, surrounding you. As if the attention of the entire universe has suddenly focused on you and you alone.”
Hadn’t M-Bot said something . . . about eyes?
“Your father said things like that before the incident,” Cobb said, visibly shaken. “And he’d say . . . he’d say he could hear the stars.”
Like Gran-Gran said. I thought. Like he said right before he flew up to them. Had he just been talking about the old exercise that Gran-Gran had taught, the one of imagining you were flying among the stars? Or was there more?
There had been a couple of times when . . . when I’d thought for certain I could hear them up there . . .
“I can tell from your horrified expression,” Cobb said, “that you think I’ve suddenly started raving like a madman. It does sound silly, doesn’t it?” He shook himself. “Well, never mind that. If you for some reason see anything like I described, tell me. Don’t talk to anyone else, not even your flightmates, and never say anything about it over the radio. Okay, Spensa?”
I nodded, numb. I almost told him about what I’d heard, but stopped myself. Cobb was the only real ally I had, but in that moment I panicked. I knew that if I told him I thought I heard the stars, he’d yank me out of the cockpit.
So I held my tongue as he climbed down the ladder. He’d told me to talk to him if I saw anything, not if I heard something. And I’d never seen anything like he said. Eyes? Hundreds of small eyes, opening up in the blackness, surrounding you . . .
I shivered again, but pulled on my helmet. Perhaps I wasn’t in the best of shape today. Shaken, sickened by news, and now thoroughly confused. But I knew that if I didn’t get back into the air, I’d go crazy for certain.
So when Jorgen called for us to take off, I did so.
41
Two weeks later, I was feeling a little more stable as I flew my Poco through a sequence of valleys, skimming the surface of the planet.
“I don’t see anything,” I said over the flight channel.
“Me neither,” FM said. She was flying at my wing.
“The trick is to remain alert on a long patrol,” a female voice said in our helmets. “Being a good scout isn’t about being able to see well; it’s about being able to give your attention to a monotonous job. It’s about not letting your mind wander into daydreams.”
Well, I’m in trouble. I thought.
“If you end up in a scout team,” said the woman, callsign: Blaze, “you’ll get a Val-class ship, which has traded its 138 Stewart destructors for a single 131, with far less firepower. But your sensor systems are better, longer-range, with more detail. It’s still tricky to catch enemy Krell who are flying under the radar—but fortunately, they often use the same tactic of trying