to someone. Stop being afraid.
I stepped up to the front of the garage. Jorgen closed the trunk of the car, then started, surprised to see me there. “Spin?” he asked. “Don’t tell me you need another power matrix.”
I took a deep breath. “You said once that if we needed to talk to someone, we should come to you. You said it was your job as flightleader to talk to us. Did you mean it?”
“I . . .” He looked down. “Spin, I copied that line out of my handbook.”
“I know. But did you mean it?”
“Yes. Please, what’s wrong? Is it Arturo leaving?”
“Not really,” I said. “Though that’s part of it.” I folded my arms around myself, as if trying to pull myself tight. Could I really say this? Could I voice it?
Jorgen walked around the car, then sat down on the front bumper. “Whatever it is, I can help. I can fix it.”
“Don’t fix,” I said. “Just listen.”
“I . . . Okay.”
I walked into the garage and perched on the bumper beside him, looking out the gaping front hangar door. Up toward the sky, and the distant patterns of the debris field.
“My father,” I said. “. . . Was a traitor.” I took a deep breath. Why was it so hard to say?
“I always fought against the idea,” I continued. “I had convinced myself that it couldn’t be true. But Cobb let me watch a recording of the Battle of Alta. My father didn’t run, like everyone says he did. He did something worse. He switched sides and shot down our own ships.”
“I know,” Jorgen said softly.
Of course he knew. Had everyone known but me?
“Do you know about something called the defect?” I asked.
“I’ve heard the term, Spin, but my parents won’t explain it to me. They call it foolishness, whatever it is.”
“I think . . . I think it’s something inside a person that makes them serve the Krell. Is that insane? My father suddenly joined them and shot down his own flightmates. Something must have happened, something strange. That’s obvious.
“Learning I was wrong about him has shaken everything I know. Ironsides hates me because she trusted my father, and he betrayed her. She’s certain I have the same flaw inside me that he had, and has been using sensors in my helmet to test it somehow.”
“That’s stupid,” he said. “Look, my parents have a lot of merits. We can go to them and . . .” He took a deep breath, and must have noticed the expression on my face. “Right,” he said. “Don’t fix, just listen?”
“Just listen.”
He nodded.
I wrapped my arms around myself again. “I don’t know that I can trust my own senses, Jorgen. There are . . . signs my father exhibited, before he switched sides. Signs I see in myself.”
“Like what?”
“Hearing sounds from the stars,” I whispered. “Seeing thousands of spots of light that I could swear are eyes, watching me. I seem to be losing control of everything in my life—or maybe I’ve never had any control in the first place. And . . . Jorgen, that’s terrifying.”
He leaned forward, clasping his hands. “Do you know about the mutiny aboard the Defiant?” he asked.
“There was a mutiny?”
He nodded. “I’m not supposed to know about it, but you hear things, when you have the parents I do. During the final days, there was a disagreement about what the fleet should do. And half of the ship rebelled against the command staff. The rebels included the engineering crew.”
“My ancestors,” I whispered.
“They’re the ones who flew us to Detritus,” Jorgen said. “Caused us to crash here, for our own good. But . . . there is talk, whispers, that the engineering staff was in collusion with the Krell. That our enemy wanted us pinned down, trapped here.
“My ancestors were from the Defiant’s science staff, and we also sided with the mutineers. My parents don’t want people knowing about the mutiny—they think it will only cause divisions to talk about it. But maybe that’s where this silly talk of a defect, and mind control by the Krell, started.”
“I don’t think it’s silly, Jorgen,” I said. “I think . . . I think it must be true. I think that if I go into the sky with the rest of you, I could . . . I could turn against you at any moment.”
He looked at me, then reached out and rested his hand on my shoulder. “You,” he said softly, “are amazing.”
I cocked my head. “What?”
“You,” he