him. I can see it and I have no idea why Jamie is totally blind to it.
“We're good friends,” says Jamie.
“Can I grab him?” Raleigh asks.
“Take him, please!”
Jamie's mouth opens, but I take my chances and leave the two love birds alone.
I ponder over what Jamie said, about me talking about Ward all the time. I like Ward. I have feelings for him, and I hate that I am this woman, who can't stop thinking about a guy even when he doesn't want her.
He's in my pores, in every cell, and every fiber of my being. I can't stop my obsession. I can't stop thinking how much I want him. When we're in a room, everything is amplified. I sense things, I can smell his scent, gauge his mood, feel him. I'm not normal around him, because my obsession for him clouds my judgement.
Tonight was less about going out, than it was to show Ward that I could go out, with another man, and be happy.
It was pure luck that he saw me all dressed up, but all the time I've been here, I've been thinking about him.
I hate myself.
“Hey.” Someone nudges my arm as I wait at the bar to place an order for my drink.
It's Danny. He used to be in charge of the hotel's amenities.
He joins me and we end up talking. He's got a really good job now, working for another bigger chain of hotels. This is good to know. I tell him I'm looking for work and he thinks he can hit me up with some contacts at his place.
We're still talking by the time the bar closes, and someone comes over to tell us about a party in one of the suburbs.
“Wanna go?” Danny asks.
I look around for Jamie, but the place is still crowded and I can't see him.
“We're going now. Coming?” Danny asks.
I jump up and follow up.
The house party turns out to be a whole lot more fun than the bar and club.
When the house party ends I get a cab back with the others and it’s almost five by the time I get home. I have no idea what happened to Jamie, but at some point during the night I texted him to let him know that I'd left. I sure hope he and Raleigh are having a good time.
Chapter 30
WARD
I wake up, not that I slept much, tossing and turning in bed all night, sliding in and out of pockets of sleep. Fragmented images of my mangled plot and Mari in that dress poked and prodded at me all night.
She’s probably still with Jamie now. The thought makes me leap out of bed. I need to do a workout, because there’s no other way I can vent my frustration better. Pumping iron and doing one of Jamie’s harder workouts might calm me and get rid of this restlessness that keeps me awake.
Tomorrow, I will call Rob and demand to return to New Orleans. This current setup messes with my head too much. It gets in the way of my writing, my life and my sanity.
Grabbing my sports towel and a bottle of water, I head for the gym. The last few times after a good workout, I’ve left on a high. There’s some truth to the endorphins and adrenaline after a good workout which leave me feeling happier and more capable, and less stressed.
As I walk in, eagerly looking forward to it for probably the only time in my life, I see her. Mari on the mat, her hands and feet planted firmly on the floor, and her butt high in the air. She’s doing that same goddamn downward dog pose she did the last time.
When the hell did she get back?
I hear her gasp, and then she stands up quickly. Her face is shiny. I can’t tell if she’s just warming up or is halfway through her practice. An awkward moment drags out into an prolonged stare. Her hands slide to her hips, jarring me with the image of her in clingy leave-nothing-to-the-imagination gym gear. This is quickly replaced by the image of her in her party dress and heels last night.
I pray my cock doesn’t stand to attention and salute her.
“I’m nearly done,” she says slowly, turning her back to me and standing tall, stretching her arms high in the air, then bringing them down to her chest. When she stands on one leg, planting her other foot against her inner thigh, I don’t know where to