have checked into a hotel.
“What? No.” He rises with me. My mind is in disarray. He’s not exactly distant or cold, though I can sense his rage. He’s never really liked Ward, I don’t think, even though he’s been in awe about his books.
These last few weeks I’ve sensed a hardness in Jamie. It might even have been around the time Ward and I got together.
But I’ve also done wrong by Jamie. He’s always been there to pick up the pieces, he was there for me when Dale cheated on me, and when I didn’t have a place to stay, and he’s here for me now. I’ve come to rely on him when I have no right to.
His phone rings and he turns his back to me, I try not to listen in, but I can’t close my ears, and he’s being overly sneaky, which makes me even more suspicious. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,” is the only thing I hear him say clearly.
“You did have plans.” I feel guiltier than ever.
He doesn’t look at me. “It’s only Raleigh. It can wait.”
“Raleigh?” I sound even more surprised than I should. The possibilities flood my mind. “You were going to see her? Then you should go,” I tell him. “I should go. I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry.” I mean it this time. I feel like an extra leg on a four legged table—unnecessary and out of place.
Clutching my phone I head towards the door, determined to leave and to let Jamie get on with his life. I have much to think about, not least of all getting back to Ward’s place to get my bag, my purse, my money, and my belongings.
I didn’t think.
I just fled.
I need solitude. I’ve suppressed what happened between me and Ward earlier, but I need to process it properly. I’m so messed and broken up that I can’t think straight, but I’ve done the wrong thing by coming to Jamie and expecting him to put me back together again.
“I asked him about Lisa Dooley.”
He looks alarmed. “Why the heck would you go and do a stupid thing like that?”
“I wanted to know the truth.”
“And you expected him to confess, just like that? Are you insane, Mari?”
I feel suddenly claustrophobic. There is too much emotion in this room. Too much going on. Too much to think about. Too many things I don’t want to face. “I should go, Jamie. Let me.”
“I’ve just canceled with Raleigh.”
“I heard, and I’m sorry, but I didn’t ask you to cancel on account of me.”
“You turned up on my doorstep looking like that. What was I supposed to do?”
I take in a slow and steadying breath. I’ve messed things up for both of us, our beautiful friendship most of all. “I’m sorry for messing up your plans.”
“Stop apologizing and sit down.” He moves towards me, which prompts me to do as he says.
“Don’t worry about Raleigh, I was only going out because she called me.”
“You can still go out, if you have plans. I’ll stay here. Unless you were going to bring her back home afterwards.”
“After what?”
“Your date.”
“And what would you think if I brought her back here?”
“Huh?” I frown, not sure what he’s asking.
“What would you do if I did bring Raleigh back?”
“Naturally, you need privacy so I would check into a hotel for the—”
“But what would you think?”
I don’t understand what he’s asking me. “I’d be happy for you. She’s liked you for the longest time and now that you’re single ….”
“You don’t even care, do you?” he snarls, his tone catching me off guard.
“If you’re that pissed off at me for ruining your night why don’t you let me go? I can check into a hotel.” What is his problem exactly?
“I’ve cancelled, and it’s not a problem,” he says, tightly. “Sit down. I’ll order us a take out.”
I’m about to tell him that I have no belongings, or money, or purse, but I’m suddenly exhausted by the events of the day and I don’t even put up a fight.
Chapter 47
WARD
I didn’t sleep. I tossed and turned like I was having spasms. Came downstairs in the early hours to write, and then I remembered there was nothing to write.
It’s burnt. I can print it out again, but I can’t get over the deception. Her fucking deception. She broke my trust.
I’ll print off another copy and send it to Rob, because he’s expecting it, but the book is tainted for me. I’ve already lost interest in