as I try to climb the stairs as confidently as I can.
At the top, once I’m out of his sight, I lean back against a wall and inhale. My legs are shaky, my heart thundering rep} like a hundred galloping horses.
Ward Maddox just did the unthinkable. He let down his armor and told me that he missed me. He told me that he wanted me back. He said he cares about me.
Inside, the cells in my body jiggle with joy. A beating, a throbbing, a pulsating orchestra of music starts up inside me all playing in sweet harmony, as if Ward’s fingers have plucked the strings up my heart and commanded the rest of me to follow suit.
He just wants sex. An ugly whisper starts up in my head.
No he doesn’t, I tell myself. Those weren’t the words of someone who craves just sex. Ward is as lonely as me, as broken as me, but for different reasons.
Naturally, I’m in shock after what he said. I would have jumped on him, thrown my arms around his neck, wrapped my legs around his waist. I would have sealed his mouth with my lips and kissed him deeply. We would have probably wound up having sex right then and there in that hallway.
I wanted to.
I could have.
But I didn’t.
Who does he think he is that he can come to me when he has a need and expect me to give in?
I will punish him.
He’s jealous because he thinks I was with Jamie. I hold my hand to my beating heart. A blanket of warmth wraps itself around me. Ward Maddox misses me, and cares about me.
I’m the luckiest woman alive, and this time I’m not going to give in to him as easily.
Chapter 40
MARI
Dare I believe that things between us are back to normal?
I can’t read the book that last night I couldn’t put down.
I can’t watch TV.
Ward hasn’t talked about his word count, and I’m aware that he’s in editing mode. He seems more miserable than ever and I can’t tell if it’s because of the state of his revisions or if it’s because I haven’t responded at all to his startling admission of feelings for me a few days ago.
I took his words and held onto them for a few more days. I wanted them for myself, to replay them over and over again, before Ward’s mood changed and he replaced those words with cruel ones.
I have come to know that this is fleeting, and he won’t allow himself the gift of happiness for too long. He’ll revert back. He’s damaged and with a childhood like his it’s not hard to see why.
We’re back to having lunch and dinner together, but this time each interaction is fraught with a frisson of sexual tension.
Jamie reminds me about dinner on Saturday, and he does this in front of Ward, not knowingly, because Jamie has no idea about me and Ward. Yet I see the expression on Ward’s face change. I enjoy seeing his unease.
Later that evening, after the two of us have had dinner, I get up to stack the dishwasher when Ward comes over to help me, even though it’s not his job, and even though there are only a few dishes. “You don’t have to do this. I can manage.”
“I can’t sit and watch you and do nothing.”
“You used to sit and watch me,” I retort, and then, to soften the blow. “It’s my job, remember? We signed a contract.”
His face darkens and I sense the chill in his mood. He’s trying to make amends and be extra nice and I’ve thrown the word back at him. I’m still not sure if it’s his cock or his heart that needs more attention, but I am enjoying this time and milking it for all it’s worth.
“Done,” I say, closing the dishwasher door. “Everything is done. It’s been a good day.” I’m feeling especially chirpy, because his silence, and subdued mood, and that look in his eyes, tells me he needs me. “Has it been for you?”
“What?” he growls.
“A good day?”
“I’ve made progress.” He stares at me. I wait for him to say it, to tell me that he’s had a good day. It’s no longer about word counts, because he isn’t doing much writing, just the rewriting. He looks pleased with himself, yet he doesn’t articulate any of that. Probably because he knows what I would think.
“That’s wonderful. Well, goodnight.” I start to walk away because I have to reply to