because I’m scared I’ll get hurt, too. For two relative strangers, we have a lot in common.
“It would be a mistake,” she says.
“This wasn’t a mistake.” I rise up from the couch. An uncomfortable soggy patch sticks between my legs. She needs to know this wasn’t a mistake, and that I’m grateful she came along and changed this miserable night for me. She gave me the relief I needed.
She smiles. “That’s good to know.”
“I mean it,” I tell her.
She turns to face me fully, and I can’t help but admire the outline of her full and perky breasts. Just looking at her turns my cock rock hard again. I want to be inside her, I want to make her writhe and moan harder. The thought makes me harden. Her gaze lowers to the telltale signs of my attraction. My tent pole rises once more, bringing a mischievous grin to her face. “Someone’s wide awake.”
“Then stay.”
She bites her lower lip, as if she’s thinking about it. “I shouldn’t.”
“Do you want to stay?” I ask, but she slips out, like a shadow, leaving me alone in the shadows of the crackling fire, with another boner to tend to.
The next morning our eyes meet across the hallway. Jamie’s arrived and he’s talking to Mari. He has his back to me, while Mari looks directly at me. A bolt of heat passes through me. Memories of last night, her scent, her arousal, her sighs as she came, all of these things fly through my head.
“Good morning.” It’s not something I usually say. I’m not polite and I don’t care enough about people to wish them a good morning. But there is something especially good about this morning. My mood has been lifted. I feel better.
Mari looks at me but it’s more through me, than at me.
Maybe she’s embarrassed, maybe she regrets what happened. I hope not, because I don’t.
After my workout with Jamie, I have lunch and try to get back to my manuscript, but I’m still stuck with the ending. And then I start thinking about Mari. She seemed closed off again. I don’t want to go back to how things were between us in the beginning.
I want to see where this could lead.
Maybe I’ll have my dinner in the kitchen this evening and talk to her then.
MARI
I can stop walking on eggshells while Ward is in the lesson with Jamie. A sense of shame rolls over me.
I couldn’t look Jamie in the eye when Ward came over. It was out of character, him saying ‘Good Morning’, in that over-the-top-happy voice. I should be glad that he’s not sullen and miserable, but in the cold light of the day I question my actions.
I would hate for Jamie to find out what had happened last night. I myself can’t understand it, but Ward obviously has an affect on me which turns me to mush. I couldn’t sleep last night even after I showered and washed Ward’s scent off. All I did was think of him, but I’m worried about what he will think now that there is no fear to confront, no lightning from his childhood days.
He can act it out better than I can. He can be cold whereas I can’t hide my emotions because I’m not built that way. I can’t hide what I feel, which begs the question, what do I want?
I’m not here for long.
He’s leaving soon.
We don’t even know one another.
What we have isn’t even a friendship. It’s an understanding, a raw, carnal, desperate understanding. I thought I knew myself, but Ward brings out a part of me I didn’t know I had.
I’m in the kitchen preparing lunch when Jamie passes by after the workout.
“Raleigh’s finally having that get together,” he announces. “She got a job and says she’s got something to celebrate. Let’s go.”
“I could do with an evening out.” I make a face because she was never one of my favorite people. But maybe what I need most of all is to get out and have fun. Meet people and enjoy life. Otherwise I’ll end up making more mistakes like the one I made last night.
“It must get boring being stuck here all day long.”
I feel my cheeks grow warm. Being here is a mixture of many things. Boring, frustrating, claustrophobic. Fun and exciting, too. “It is a bit,” I say, even though this is not entirely true now.
“Come along. It might be a good opportunity to see what everyone else is up to. They might know