bouncing the giant purple ball in her hands. It bounces away from her and toward the street.
My heart pounds inside my chest…
I squeeze my lids shut for a short time, trying to catch my breath as the memory washes through me. Once I’ve calmed myself a bit, I get up, still holding her in my arms, and very gently lay her down onto the mattress so she won’t wake up. She immediately curls up into a tight ball, her tiny hands tucked under her angelic face. I look down at her naked form, knowing that I can’t leave her here like this. It’s an irrational thought, knowing that she will be sold, but while she is here, the least I can do is give her some type of modesty and make sure she doesn't freeze to death. So, I pull off my black long-sleeved thermal shirt and cover her small body with it like a blanket.
When I straighten, I take another look around the empty room. How long has she been here? I can’t fucking remember but I know the auction is not for another three weeks.
I exhale a ragged breath, scrubbing a frustrated hand down my face. I shake my head in anger. I can’t worry about this shit. There is nothing I can do to change the outcome of this for her. I just need to go have a drink and forget this whole shit show ever happened.
I take a few steps toward the door and glance into the tiny bathroom. It’s fucking filthy, and there is no soap or a towel… not even fucking toilet paper? How the fuck can she be expected to remain sanitary when they don’t even give her the necessities needed to do so?
Fuck, what am I thinking? She isn’t being treated like a human because she isn’t going to be seen as one here. I’ve never thought about the women brought here because I never saw them. I never paid an ounce of attention to them because I didn't want to.
But now that I have, I’m appalled. My blood boils, and I have to stop myself from slamming the door shut behind me when I leave the cell. I want to find someone to punch and yell at, but I really have no one to blame other than myself, and that makes this ten times worse. Guilt is a bitch, and it’s hitting as hard as it never has before.
The men working for me just follow my orders; they don’t come up with this shit on their own. If I don’t order them to do something, then they aren’t going to fucking do it. This is on me.
I walk from the first floor up the stairs to the second floor, my feet pounding across concrete. When I reach the door to my room, I unlock it, and twist the knob, walking inside. I slam the door closed behind me and walk into the bathroom connected off the bedroom. I shouldn’t be feeling shit for this woman... and still, I can’t get the image of her without a single fucking thing to give her comfort out of my head. There are other women here, all on that same floor, experiencing the same things she is, so why the fuck don’t I care about them, too?
Because they aren’t her.
Holding her in my arms, feeling her cling to me, reminded me of the one person in my life that I failed to save, failed to protect. I grit my teeth, grabbing onto the sink that’s barely fastened to the wall. Things were easier before she escaped and ran right into my arms like I was the hero in this twisted fucking story.
But I’m not the hero. I can’t save her. I can’t even save myself. I force air into my lungs and swallow down all the emotions swirling out of control inside of me. This is my job. The only life I’ve ever known, and some tiny, fragile fucking woman isn’t going to ruin it for me.
I lift my eyes to the mirror, and I see the man I’m meant to be.
The hardened criminal, the killer, the fucked-up asshole.
I was born to do this. It’s in my blood.
3
Violet
I blink my eyes open, feeling a little warmer than I have in a long time. My jaw throbs, and I fight back tears at the pain. When I shift against the mattress, I feel an unknown fabric rubbing against my naked skin. I gaze down at my