hate him, not after all he’s done for me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not furious.
“Let’s go.” Luca appears directly in front of me, his hand reaching out, latching onto my arm. A squeak escapes my lips when I lose my footing and slip on the wet concrete floor. I barely get my footing before I slam into Luca’s side.
“Learn how to fucking walk, and you won’t fall.” He laughs, tugging me along, out the door, and down the hall to my cell. He shoves me inside, his eyes roaming over my cold soaked body before he shuts the door, locking me inside.
I backpedal toward the bed, sinking down onto the filthy mattress. I wrap my arms around my middle and start to sob. Coldness seeps deep into my bones, and my teeth chatter together, the sound filling the silent room.
How could he do this? How could he let his men treat women this way? How is he so kind and gentle with me but hateful and mean with them?
I wish like hell he was here right now so that I could scream at him, so I could tell him how angry I am with him for not saving them like he saved me. Parts of me knew my anger was irrational, but I didn’t care, not in this moment, not after watching them hurt that girl. She looked younger than me and frightened beyond belief.
The food flap opens a little while later and something is shoved inside before it’s quickly closed again. I get up on shaky legs and walk over to pick up a thin white cotton shift dress. I pull it on, even though I know it’s not going to provide me with a lot of warmth. At least I won’t be naked anymore. Sitting back down on the mattress, I curl up into a ball and for the first time since Ivan started getting me from my cell, I don’t want to see him.
He’s a reminder of what I have that those other girls here don’t have.
I’m protected and cared for by the dark knight while they get nothing.
I should feel grateful, happy, but all I feel is guilt and shame.
14
Ivan
Each step I take toward her cell is forced. I’ve never walked down to get her with such a pit of anguish in my stomach. Today was a fucking nightmare. The only reason I was able to hold back and not rip Luca’s head off was the knowledge of saving her tomorrow. This is the only way, the only chance I have, and I knew there was no way I could let my emotions get involved.
As soon as I open the door to her cell, I know that everything is going to be different now. Things will change between us now that she has seen the darkness inside me. I’ve told her that I was a bad man, but she’s never seen that part of me, never seen how cold and disconnected I can be. Instead of getting up and jumping into my arms, she remains curled up on the mattress, facing away from me.
I sigh and step into the cell, walking across the room. Kneeling down beside her, I gently touch her bare arm and cringe as she pulls away. Where she usually leans into my touch, she fucking pulls away, her body language telling me not to touch her ice-cold skin.
“It had to happen this way, Kitten. It was either protect you or them, and if I have to choose, I’m always going to choose you. You’re my number one priority.” I need her to understand this. Everything changed the day she collided with me. Something inside me broke lose when I saw her big blue eyes full of fright. I was looking for something without even knowing it… something more… and then she found me, she fucking found me.
“Come on, let me take you upstairs. You’re freezing.” I slide my arms underneath her and lift her up. She doesn't wrap her arm around me or hold on to my shirt like she usually does, but at least she isn’t struggling to get away from me. I don’t know what I would do if she was.
As I cradle her to my chest and carry her upstairs, her eyes remain closed, but I know she is not a sleep. Everywhere I touch, her skin is cold, and her body is slightly shaking in my hold.
When I get to my place, I lay her in my