me on her hand... a scar to remind her of the kind of mistake I was. Words land on the tip of my tongue, and I start speaking without thinking.
“I’m not who you think I am, Violet. Yes, I’m helping you, but I’ve hurt hundreds before you. A lot of people, a lot of women, died because of me, and some I’ve even killed myself. Me saving you doesn’t change the things I’ve done. One good thing for all the bad doesn’t make the bad disappear. It doesn’t make me a good man for doing right by you.”
“I know you aren’t good, but you’re good enough for me. There’s light inside of you, and it’s begging to be set free, beginning to shine bright. You’re like a firefly trapped in a jar, and I want to set you free, Ivan.”
My jaw tightens, and I steady my shaking hand as I pierce her skin once more.
“Stop trying to see the good in me, the good in everyone around you. We’re all evil in some way shape or form. God didn’t make us without flaws.”
“What’s my flaw then?”
“Loving me.”
She quiets at my response, and I finish sewing her up. I clean up the blood off the side of her hand and toss all the bloody gauze into the trash. When I wrap the hand lightly, I can feel Violet’s eyes on me, burning a hole through my body. I silently clean up all the glass off the floor, sweeping it up and tossing it into the trash.
A headache starts to pound directly behind my eyes.
“Let’s go to bed,” I order, picking her up from the counter by her hips, before placing her back down on her feet. She holds her hand to her chest and looks up at me, sadness in lingering in her eyes.
“Will you hold me?” The hopeful tone in her voice crushes me all over again. I press a hand to the small of her back and usher her forward. Things have changed between us, and I’m torn in half by the feelings accompanied with that change. I feel like I’m being pulled in two different directions. Part of me wants this, wants her so badly... while the other part despises the thought of it.
“Yes, Kitten, I’ll hold you.”
She lets me get her into bed, and I follow suit, settling onto the mattress, pulling out a few shards of glass that had embedded themselves into my feet. If Violet notices, she doesn’t say anything, and I’m thankful. I don’t have it in me to argue with her anymore tonight.
I turn the light off and pull her into my chest, inhaling her sweet scent into my lungs, wishing that her loving me didn’t change things... that it didn’t change us.
“Good night, Ivan,” she murmurs into my chest.
“Good night, Kitten.” I exhale, letting every inch of her surround me. She’s the one thing I want, but the only thing completely out of reach.
“Ivan...” I hear someone calling my name, and my body shakes. I brush the hand away, rolling over. It’s too early to get up.
“Ivan. It’s past breakfast time.” Violet’s soft voice caresses my ears, pulling me out of my stupor. My eyes fly open and meet her worried ones. Her face is set in a frown, and I know something is wrong.
“What?”
“It’s past breakfast time. You should have brought me down an hour ago.”
“Fuck!” I get up from the bed, and she follows suit. I get us some clothes from the dresser, and we both start to get dressed.
I don’t even have my boxers all the way pulled up when a loud knock on the front door has us both frozen in place. I glance at Violet over my shoulder, and she looks scared out of her mind.
“Don’t worry, just… get naked and lay on the bed face down.” She gives me a confused look, but I don’t have time to explain.
“Just do it, Kitten, trust me.”
I close the bedroom door behind me, hoping that she fucking listens. If someone comes in here looking for her, I can always say I have her up here for my entertainment, but it won't look real if she doesn't do what I fucking telling her to. Another loud knock echoes through my apartment before I can make it to the door.
“Hold on,” I growl and pull the door open to find Gabe on the other side. Fuck. He must be here to tell me Violet is gone. It takes a lot out