than another scar and memory.
I go back into my room and pull out the first outfit I find from the dresser. After I’m dressed, I contemplate what to do next. I’m not ready to go out and face anybody yet, especially Roman. I throw myself onto the bed and curl up in a ball, trying to forget the events of this entire day. Unfortunately, it’s hard to clear my mind with loud music booming through the normally quiet house. My walls vibrate as the rap music pulses through me, like I’m standing right next to the damn speaker.
I rub at my temples. This is a much different problem than I’m used to having. Usually I’m all alone, the silence surrounding me, but tonight, there is no silence inside my head, nor in this house.
Stepping out of my room, I march through the house on a mission...even though I’m not sure what that mission is yet. I follow the sounds of the music underlined with talking and laughing. The noises get louder as I move farther down the hall. Knowing they are having a party right now infuriates me beyond measure.
How dare they celebrate Roman killing a man.
My fists are clenched and my jaw is tight when I enter the large living space people have gathered in. My eyes scan the crowd of maybe fifty, but I don’t see Roman or Mac. I do, however, spot Devin, his mouth attached to some busty blonde sitting on his lap. I almost turn around and run back to my room when some random guy appears next to me. I look him up and down. He’s handsome, but simple looking, nothing like Roman.
“Hey,” he greets, giving me a friendly smile, revealing perfectly white, straight teeth. “I feel like I’ve never seen you at one of Roman’s parties before.” He shakes his head before answering his own question. “Nah, I would definitely remember a pretty face like yours.”
“Hi,” is all I can muster. His smile widens, as if he appreciates my timidity, and my insides tighten. This is new territory for me. Guys, talking, dating. I’ve never done any of those things, but I have the desire to do them, eventually.
“You look like you could use a drink.” He doesn’t give me a chance to respond to him. “Come on. We’ll get you something.” Putting his hand gently against my lower back, he ushers me to the kitchen, which is now a makeshift bar.
“Uh, thanks…” I walk with him, even though I really don’t want to. His hand on my lower back, however innocent the touch might seem, makes me uneasy.
I look around the room once more, not even thinking about it as I search for Roman. Even now, I search him out for protection. Even after everything that has happened today, after all the horrible things he said to me, I still want him near me. I want him to make me feel safe. I want his arms wrapped around me. I worry I might be growing obsessed, but I’m in his care and want to be near him.
When we get to the kitchen, I look up at the man with his hand on my back and watch him pour me something to drink. He smiles again, and I’m certain it’s genuine. I can’t help but wonder if there is something wrong with me. Why would I only feel safe with Roman? He obviously doesn't care about me. He is mean and unapologetic, so why does he mean so much to me? I just wish I didn't feel like I need him.
“I’m Ryan, by the way,” he introduces himself, handing me the glass.
“Sophie.” I reach for the glass and take a small sip. A strong alcohol taste mixed with some fruit juice hits my tongue and burns down my throat, filling my belly with warmth.
“Good?” Ryan lifts a brow, his smile very much still intact.
I give him a half smile and take another sip. He watches me for a long moment before guiding us toward the patio doors that lead out into the backyard. Red flags go up in my mind. I dig my feet into the tile floor to stop us from moving forward.
“Wait…” I stop him, panic gnawing at me. “Why don't we just stay inside?”
“Are you worried about being alone with me?”
I swallow and shake my head no. “Of course not, it just looks like this is where all the fun is.” I force a smile and hope he can't tell