admit it, but my stomach was also in knots. She shifted uneasily, pulling her hand away from mine, squeezing it between her thighs.
I know something else that wants to be squeezed in there.
I shook away the inappropriate thought and grimaced. “Don’t make me feel like I forced you to move down here. You know you didn’t have to accept my invitation, right?”
Not that it wouldn’t have broken my heart.
Peeking at me with anxious eyes, she replied, “I know this sounds stupid, but to me it’s make or break time.”
“What do you mean by ‘break time’? This is something you wanted, right? I thought we both wanted this. We’ve been looking forward to moving in together for months.”
“It is, we have, and I do,” she answered quickly. “You can’t fault me for being nervous about this. I guess it’s just finally hitting me that I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and clock in at Rossi’s.”
“Again I tell you, it is completely normal how you’re feeling.” I wanted nothing more than to wake her up from whatever delusional thoughts she was experiencing. However, I knew I had to be patient. Just like she was always patient with me.
She nodded, but didn’t respond. Soon we were basked in silence, enveloped by the warm melodic crooning of an old ’80s rock album. We both sunk into our seats, pretending that we did not just have the most awkward conversation ever. One thing was for sure, this certainly was not the ride I was expecting to have.
You’re both just getting used to the idea. It’ll be fine.
I ran through my motivational mantra over and over again, trying to convince myself that Rocky’s homesickness was just rubbing off on me. Still, I couldn’t ignore the blatant warning signs flashing through my head.
Out of all the times you take heed of warnings, now you do it?
I shook my head. No, I wouldn’t surrender to second thoughts. This was what we wanted. At least I thought it was…
“I’ll make sure you don’t regret moving down here,” I told her quietly.
She glanced over at me and smiled. “I won’t regret it.”
In a firmer tone I repeated, “I’ll make sure of it.”
Chapter 34
Rocky
Words can’t express how much I love Jesse. After years of pining from a distance I still couldn’t believe he was mine and I was his…
So why couldn’t I shake the feeling that moving in together was a bad idea? Especially since I was so excited about it and couldn’t wait until the moment came? So why did I suddenly feel so strange?
I pressed my cheek against the cloth of my seatbelt and shut my eyes for a moment, desperate to quiet my thoughts. I must have dozed off for a few minutes because when I finally reopened them all I saw was a mix of palm trees and weirdly colored buildings.
“We’re almost there…” I said to no one in particular.
“Mmhmm.” Jesse sounded distant, as if he were fighting his own demons. I wondered if he somehow doubted the ‘big move’ too. If he did, it was entirely my fault.
Whoa! Hold your horses! Did I say doubting?
Okay, I take that back. I didn’t doubt anything. I was scared…but that’s how I’ve always been about life. I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been coddled since birth and always had the safety net of family around me. What was I supposed to do, knowing my family and Stephanie were hundreds of miles away?
“We’re here.”
Can I repeat, hundreds of miles away.
“That we are.” I swallowed back a lump of anxiety and glanced around the apartment complex as I unbuckled my seatbelt. Eyeing the concrete steps, I grimaced. “We don’t have to move my stuff in yet, do we?” Surprise, anxiousness, and confusion flashed across my boyfriend’s face. Realizing my mistake, I quickly added, “I’m just zonked out from the ride. Can’t we do it tomorrow?”
He sighed with visible relief. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll order pizza for dinner. I don’t really feel up for cooking either.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Do you remember the first time we had pizza at your apartment?”
Grinning, he jogged around the car toward me to squeeze my waist. “How could I forget? First a sex dream and then—”
“Hey!” I yelped, interrupting him. “I did not have a sex dream.”
We both knew it was a lie, but I’d deny it until the end. I was still embarrassed by my little faux pas.
“Yeah, right.” His eyes brightened. “Either way I’ll make sure you dream about it tonight.”
***
“You want it