to tease her like this, I couldn’t stop myself. Years and years of stopping myself had finally caught up with me. My brakes were finally broken. “What did you hear?” she insisted.
The thing with the past is that even though you insist on leaving it behind, it still manages to rear up at the ugliest moments. When that time comes you have no choice but to take a few steps back and face it head on. In my case, I needed to open up about what I saw at her house the other night. It’d be the only way I could move forward.
I looked up cautiously, taking in the way her lips parted almost suggestively, but I knew she was just anxious. “Did you know I stopped by your house two nights ago?”
“Wait, what?” Her eyes darkened, an unmistakable mask of guilt.
I sighed and trembled slightly. “I felt bad about what went down at the store. I knew it was a dick move and I should have apologized, but again I hated how much I felt like the old Jesse, you know?”
When did you come over?” she demanded.
“When do you think? I rolled up to your house and saw a strange car in your driveway. I knew you parents were gone and it couldn’t have been Emily’s. It didn’t take me long to figure out it was Ethan’s prissy ride.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at how much of a creeper I sounded like. Guess the kids from Bethel Falls High School did have something right about me. I was definitely a class five weirdo.
Rocky looked as if she were caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. Her eyebrows were pushed together and her nose was scrunched up in regret. “Uh, yeah he wanted to cook for me.”
“Cook for you, huh?” Yeah, right.
She nodded but didn’t say a word.
I could have rolled my eyes, but I didn’t. As a twenty-three-year-old male, I’ve ridden my share of rodeos before, and I knew perfectly well there was no cooking usually involved.
“You know what ‘cooking for you’ is code for, right?” I took a few breaths to calm myself, worried that my jealousy would be overtly obvious. My jaw tightened and my teeth clenched, picturing that douche getting grabby with Rocky. I shook my head, waiting for her to respond, and when she didn’t, I pressed on. “I stayed in my car, wondering if I should go in and bother you. Hell, I sure wanted to.”
“Why?”
“You know why,” I muttered. She should know why, but that didn’t mean she did. At least I wanted her to know why.
“Do I?”
She really wanted to play this game, didn’t she? Fine. I’ll bite.
“I saw Ethan walk out with extremely, extremely messy hair. His little poof was no longer a poof.” Though my brain was telling me—screaming—for me to stop, it was as if my hand had a mind of its own. Desperate to feel Rocky’s warmth once and for all, I reached out and did just as I imagined, dragging a finger against her olive-toned cheek.
Her mouth opened and closed as if she had something to say, but no words came out. Her lips remained parted, breathing in loudly. I silently prayed to hear her moan again.
I wonder if Ethan heard her moan.
My mouth hardened as I imagined the prick walking out of her house, eyeing me with that self-righteous look on his face. I smacked my tongue in disgust. “I was angry, but why? I had no right to be angry. We weren’t even good friends anymore.”
Like a bad train wreck I couldn’t stop myself from imagining the prick caressing Rocky’s body. I felt my insides turn in anger, my blood boiling dangerously. Though I may not have deserved the princess sitting in front of me, I knew Ethan didn’t either.
What the hell was I doing? How was this helping me? I needed to erase the visual from my mind. I also needed to erase the memory from hers.
Propelled by lust and love, I banished every second thought I had and let my carnal instincts take over. Bringing my face dangerously close to hers, I continued to touch her cheeks, moving my fingers down to the dip of her collarbones. I was desperate to replace Ethan in every single fantasy—that meant replacing him in her memories. “Did he touch you like this? Did he lean into you like this?” I invaded her personal space, finally inhaling her sweet scent. “And whisper sweet nothings in your ear?”
I