never heard him talk about my mother in a way so…so…nice.
He nodded his head in understanding. “You don’t have to say it and you don’t have to agree with me, but I can see how much you like Raquel. You owe it to her and you owe it to yourself to grow up a little bit if you wish to pursue her.”
I snorted and looked away. This was almost as uncomfortable as the time he found a porn magazine under my blankets. “You don’t know anything.”
“I know that you’ve had that phone in your hand for the last three months. I know that every time it buzzes you jump up as if the Queen of England just called.
“Why would I care if the Queen of England called?”
“Exactly my point!”
I stared at him in bewilderment. “What?”
“I’m not blind, Jesse. I know you really love this girl.”
Love. Such a foreign concept to me.
“She’s my best friend, Dad,” I replied, taking my time to enunciate each syllable. “Of course I care about her. You do know what it’s like to have friends, right?”
My dad looked at me knowingly. “Suffice it to say, we both know it’s more than that. You want my advice?”
“If I say no will you leave me alone?” I asked hopefully.
“Who would you want Rocky to end up with? A hot-headed, immature boy? Or a steady and responsible man?”
I didn’t answer.
“And perhaps…Never mind.”
“Just spit it out, Dad,” I groaned.
He bit his lip hesitantly. “Listen, maybe she needs to grow up as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“Take a look at your life.”
“Believe me I have.” I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s not something I like to do.”
“It seems to me that you both tend to drag each other down.”
“She doesn’t do that to me,” I shot back defensively.
“Are you sure? Who did you follow to the dance, knowing you couldn’t set foot on school property?”
I remained silent.
He nodded smugly. “Who do you skip class with? Party with? Am I going out on a limb if I say she’s also the reason you punched that jock in the face?”
As if a dam broke, all the emotions I tried so hard to suppress spilled out. Fear’s cool claws gripped my spine and traveled down each vein in my body in its iciness. Maybe he was right. Maybe Rocky and I did bring out the worst in each other. Maybe I didn’t deserve her ever. “What if we never grow up? What then?”
“That’s up to you. Sometimes people are just not meant to be, and unfortunately, making difficult decisions is the first part of growing up. If you really love her, son, if you want the best for both of you, then maybe…maybe it’s best if you let her go.”
We sat bathed in silence, most likely contemplating what we had done wrong in our lives. I sat back, listening to a ticking clock that echoed throughout the house. Time was a funny thing. It didn’t guarantee you’d change, but more than likely change would accompany it.
Before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed the fork in front of me and took a bite of Dad’s gourmet masterpiece. Luckily, Dad knew better than to gloat. I gulped down a piece of steak in surprise. “Where’d you learn to cook? If memory serves me correctly, I grew up with greasy bags of burgers and fries every night.”
A sad smile touched his lips. “Well, when half your paycheck goes to booze you sort of run out of money to buy anything good.”
I took another bite and frowned. “Why didn’t you ever stop her? Force her to rehab or something?”
He curled his lips together and let them go with a pop. “That’s the other thing about becoming an adult. Tough love is necessary, but not easily managed. I guess…” He paused and wiped away a stray tear. “I guess I wasn’t man enough for that marriage.”
“Is that why you’re getting remarried? Because running away suddenly made you the man you wanted to be?” I snapped.
Dad’s thick eyebrows lowered. “That’s not fair, Jesse.”
“You sure about that?”
“Jesse,” he snapped warningly.
“You didn’t just leave Mom, remember? You left me.” I dropped my fork and shook my head in disgust. “Maybe that’s another reason why I’m not ‘grown up’ yet, either.”
Dad’s dark eyes widened in surprise. His mouth opened then shut rapidly, finally at a loss for words.
“Stop acting like you know me, because you don’t.”
Instead of getting angry, he nodded in agreement. “You’re right, I don’t. And