was once again placed firmly across my face. Back when I was younger, I easily pushed people out of my life as a sense of self-preservation. Just because I was older didn’t mean I still couldn’t do so. Placing a cold look on my face, I remarked, “I was the high school bad boy. What naïve school girl wouldn’t fall for that?”
She slammed her hand against the counter, causing me to jump. “I’ll have you know that I was never naïve.”
“Never, huh?” I smirked.
“Give me one example.”
“You were bored, Rocky. You were too nice and too good to be doing half the stuff you did with me. Skip class, sneak out and party—it wasn’t in your nature.”
“If that’s the case, what do you think is in my nature? You’re basically calling me a wet blanket,” she scoffed.
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” I nodded my head sincerely. It was one of her most redeeming qualities. In a world full of drama, nothing felt better than something calm and predictable.
Still scowling, she shot back, “Now that you’re on the subject of being bad, why don’t we talk about what a horrible friend you’ve been? First cutting me out from your life with no reason and now insulting me.”
Ouch, okay, maybe we’ve gone too far.
Letting her go didn’t necessarily mean making her hate me. Deciding to reel it back a little, I pushed forward, leaning into her personal space. “Horrible, huh? What else do you think is bad, Rocky?”
She gulped. “I don’t know. War, famine?”
“That’s not what I meant.” My voice came out surprisingly deeper.
“If you’re talking about the kiss, I obviously think it’s bad now! I never should have done it.” Her eyes dropped down, avoiding mine.
My face and my heart couldn’t help but soften. “Like I said, I’m glad you did.”
“Oh? Why?”
“I’m not comfortable divulging that info.” Noticing the look of annoyance on her face, I quickly added, “And I’m not talking about the kiss.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
Her face grew pinker as the seconds ticked by. Fighting the urge to warm my cold hands with her cheeks, I took a slight step back. “I admit that it’s been off between us. Maybe that kiss was a way to put us back on the right track. You know, get back where we used to be.”
“I thought you said this wasn’t about the kiss.”
“Well, maybe a bit of it is,” I admitted.
“Fine, whatever.” She flicked her wrist around and sighed. “So where did we used to be, Jesse? And how can such a mortifying mistake make everything better?”
This was it. It was time to sever ties. “It’ll allow us to be Rocky and Jesse again! To be the two musketeers…err…plus Stephanie.”
“I’m not following. How is that stolen kiss supposed to make us friends?”
Biting the bullet, I said the words that I never wanted to speak. I spoke the words that I thought needed to be proclaimed to shield her from hurt—from me. It was all a part of my fucked of plan, but it still hurt like shit to do.
Grin and bear it, Jesse. Grin and bear it.
“It helped you realize that you never liked me to begin with, right?”
She frowned in disbelief.
“You just liked the idea of being with the bad boy. You know, because you were always a bad girl trying to come out. Now that we finally did the ‘forbidden,’ you realize your fantasy was better than reality. Of course you always did care about me as a friend as well, and that’s what I want to get back to.”
As the lies spilled out of my mouth, I found myself beginning to believe them. I coaxed and urged her on my imaginary trip, willing her to join my fallacy.
We both needed to face the truth. She had Ethan. I had my restaurant. She had Stephanie. I had…myself. We weren’t two peas in a pod anymore. We never were. We were two separate entities and the sooner we realized it, the better it would be for both of us. The longer we danced this waltz of delusion the longer it would take us to heal. We could never be “Rocky and Jesse” again. In fact, it was something we never were.
I must have stunned her into silence. She stood quietly and looked as if she wasn’t even blinking. Riding the waves of momentum, I continued, “We’ve finally gotten past your old feelings, and because you realize that you regret it, we can just move forward…err…move back…um,