“Why didn’t you just end the pregnancy then? If I came as such a shock, you should have just walked over to that free clinic and been done with me.”
She looked me dead in the eyes. “I wish I had.”
Cue another punch in the gut. I stood there, dumbfounded, not knowing how to respond.
After a beat, Mom broke the silence and shoved something into my chest. “Here. From your father.” She said the word ‘father’ as if she was speaking of mice or some other vermin.
“Is this what I think it is?” I looked down and grabbed onto the blue envelope.
“Hell if I know. Probably another one of his ‘meaningful cards.’ Is it your birthday or something?”
Of course my own mother wouldn’t know my birthday.
“No.” I pursed my lips.
“Well, I wouldn’t bet it’s a love letter.” She snickered. “Who would love you?”
“Is anybody home?” Rocky’s voice called out from the foyer. I must have left the door open somehow. Once again, her timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
I turned back to my mother and smirked. “Somebody.”
Letting out a loud snort, Mom scowled. “It’ll only be a matter of time until she realizes what trash you are. Give it some time. You’ll drag her down into your scum soon enough.”
***
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?” Rocky’s eyes darted around nervously. She pushed aside her art bag and drawing board before plopping down on my mattress. “I sort of feel like I’m intruding.”
Intruding on my bed?
I gulped. “You know you’re always welcome here.”
Always.
“But your mom…”
“Is none of our concern.” I waved the blue envelope in the air and sighed. Every few months my dad would send a greeting card stuffed with money. It would always end with the same line: Call me.
I never did.
“Aren’t you going to open it?” Rocky’s tone was hushed.
“Nah, I already know what it is. What’s the point?”
“The point is that I don’t know what it is, and I’m really curious!” She leaned over and tried to snatch it away, but I was too quick for her.
Laughing, I shrugged and flicked at the corner of the envelope. “It’s just a card with money in it. Nothing special.”
“Nothing special?” she gaped, twisting her fingers together. “I wish I had free money. You know how many art supplies I’d buy with that?”
“Here. Take it then,” I replied, tossing the envelope onto her lap.
Looking appalled, she picked it up and chucked it back toward me. “I don’t want your money! Makes me feel like a prostitute or something.”
“You’d have to be paid to sleep with me before that happens.” My laugh died down when I realized how inappropriate the joke was, especially given the look of horror on Rocky’s face. She leaned back into my wall and grabbed my pillow, pulling awkwardly at a loose piece of thread as she tried to avoid my eyes. “Yeah, that was kinda messed up. Sorry?”
She shrugged and didn’t say a word, though judging by the crease in her forehead and narrowing of her eyes she was deep in thought.
Averting my gaze, I glanced back down at the envelope and frowned. Maybe if I wished hard enough, the words, ‘I made a mistake and I’m coming home’ would be written on the card instead of the usual ‘call me.’ Of course that wouldn’t happen. We’d never have another chance to be a family again—not that we ever were a family to begin with.
“Rocky?” I swallowed hard. “How’s it like?”
“How’s what like?” Her eyes finally found mine, peering at me curiously.
“Having a family,” I whispered. “You know…a normal one.”
Her face softened. “I’d hardly say we were normal. A rebellious sister, about thirty cousins, and a dad that dresses like a clown in TV commercials—yup, we’re a regular Leave It to Beaver.”
“No, I mean…” I shook my head. “Never mind. Forget I mentioned it.”
“What? What is it?” She leaned forward and placed her fingertips lightly on my thigh, causing a jolt of electricity to travel up and down my skin. “You know you can ask me anything.”
My gaze traveled from her hot pink colored nails up her arm and back to her face. I gulped. “How’s it like knowing they have your back?”
“You have that…” her voice trailed off.
“You must be thinking about someone else, because that is something I definitely do not have.”
Her top teeth raked across her bottom lip, scraping off the remnants of her shiny lip gloss. “Jesse, you and I are family…” Her eyes widened. “I-I mean not like