brother and sister or anything like that…I mean.”
I held back a laugh, though truthfully I was relieved she didn’t think of me that way. I grabbed at my neck and grimaced. “No offense, but you live in your happy little bubble without realizing how the other half lives, you know? You don’t know what it’s like to be me.”
“I’m not a rich snob, Jesse,” she replied with disapproval.
I smirked. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what do you mean?”
“Well, you’re loved and protected.”
And you always will be. That’s why I’ll never be with you. I’d just push you away for good.
“Jesse, stop being so melodramatic. You’re loved too…” She looked toward my door and grimaced, undoubtedly thinking about my mother. “Look, I care about you. Steph cares about you. You’re not as alone as you think.”
My shoulders slumped forward. Taking a deep breath, I gestured toward the gigantic slab of wood perched against my bed frame. “Why’d you bring your drawing board? Didn’t get your fill of drawing this handsome face in class?”
She snickered and shook her head. “I actually have a project to do for AP Art, and seeing that you kept getting distracted by Miss McMillan’s knockers—”
“Hey!” I gasped.
“—I figured if I got you alone, I could finally position you the way I wanted.”
Oh, she walked right into that one.
I wagged my eyebrows suggestively. “And what position would that be? Top or bottom?”
Her mouth dropped right open. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I’m only teasing.” Too bad my dick didn’t feel the same way. As discreetly as I could, I grabbed at a nearby pillow and positioned it onto my lap.
Rocky’s face was burning bright. “Um, what I do mean is that I want to get an exact expression on your face. Earlier you kinda sat around like this…” She dropped her arms by her sides, slumped her shoulders forward, widened her eyes, and slacked her jaw. “Uh, duhhhhh.”
Laughing, I jokingly punched her in the shoulder. “I did not!”
She giggled back—a sound I loved to hear—and grinned. “Seriously, I want you to look…”
“Like what?”
“Like how you always do when you’re with me.”
Completely in love with you?
“And how’s that?” I gulped.
She sighed and scratched her head. “I don’t really know how to describe it…I guess…not like before?”
“Care to embellish?” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Basically, I want you to look like you’re not lusting over somebody’s boobs.”
“And whose boobs are we talking about?” I choked out. “Miss McMillan’s or Sarah’s?”
Her mouth dropped open. “See! I knew it!
“Oh, come on, Rocky. I was only looking at you in class.”
She blinked quickly. “You were?”
“Well, yeah.” I looked down at my sneakers and shrugged. “You’re the only one I feel comfortable with.”
“Or the only one you can’t imagine sleeping with,” she muttered. Though she tried to play it off as a joke, I knew there was an insult hidden somewhere in there.
I cleared my throat and changed the subject. “Okay, fine. You want to draw me? Let’s do this.” I stood up and grabbed my desk chair, spinning it around until I was facing her. “Draw me like one of your—”
“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed her drawing board, hiking it onto the top of her thighs. She crossed her legs, causing the hole in her jeans to become stretched out, exposing her olive legs. “Just be your usual self.”
“Devastatingly handsome?” I joked, unable to look away from her bare skin.
“Excruciatingly stupid.”
I smirked. “You better make me beautiful.”
“You already are, Princess.” She giggled.
The low hum of the radio was the only sound in the room. Mom must have dozed off into another one of her drunken comas, leaving the house deathly quiet. I yawned and struggled to remain upright, watching Rocky’s face contort into pure concentration. It was amazing that she couldn’t see the power she had over me. Then again, it was something I tried my best to hide. My gaze flickered down to her cheek where a loose tendril of hair rested, and I desperately wanted to push it away so I could see her fully. Of course I didn’t.
It killed me that Rocky and I could never be together, but that’s what true love was about, right? Sacrifice. There was no way I could invite this loving, family-oriented angel into my dysfunctional and broken world. I needed to save her from a lifetime doomed with my torture…yet, was I that strong? When I found out Dwight had asked her out, it was like another sucker