smoke, savoring the way its sharpness coated my throat.
“Uh, let’s see.” She held up her fingers and began counting off. “Lung cancer, emphysema, stained teeth, bad breath—”
“Hope you’re listing those in descending order of importance.” I chuckled.
“I’m being serious! Besides, I thought you hate it when your mom does it.”
There I was, being a hypocrite once again. I pushed away the feeling of unease and held out the box. “You want one?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’d rather be dead, and judging by your total lack of disregard, you do too.”
“Being dead seems a lot better than this lifetime,” I muttered.
“Don’t say that!” Her eyes widened in what I could only describe as fear.
“Relax.” I took another drag and allowed the corner of my lips to curl up reassuringly. “I’m not going to…well, you know.”
She nodded silently and looked down at her feet with a grimace. Her white sneakers had gotten even dirtier from our hike to the bypass, but I thought it added character to the preppy shoes. “Jesse…what are you going to do about your life? You can’t just keep doing shit like this, you know.”
“Like what?”
“Run away, do stupid crap when you’re depressed. You need to stop blaming everyone but yourself and take responsibility for your life.”
I blinked in surprise. My jaw became lax, my cigarette nearly dropping from my mouth.
“I’m sorry for the tough love…” Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head quickly. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. You can’t keep running from your troubles at home.”
My arms flailed around as I gestured at the broken bottles and abandoned soda cans at the bottom of the bridge. “This is my new home now.”
Rocky sighed and stretched out her legs, bumping into mine. It sent a familiar jolt of electricity through me. Surprisingly, I was not in the mood and shifted away. The sky was now completely overcast, conquered by what looked to be rain clouds, and what little grass peeked out from the sidewalk cracks was browning with the promise of fall. It was a dreary day to add to my already shitty mood.
I coughed a bit and took a deep breath. “You’re lucky, you know.”
“Why is that?”
I tilted my head slightly toward her and watched as she shivered. Without thinking twice, I peeled off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, careful not to brush up against her again. I looked at her sadly, feeling a weird sting of nostalgia.
In another life we were probably together. I can’t wait for this one to be over too. I could finally feel your touch again.
Swallowing back a pang of unjustified grief, I whispered, “You’re going to go places.”
Without me.
“The only place I’m going is Rossi’s Novelties,” she replied with a soft laugh.
I shook my head. “You and I both know that’s not true. You’re going to leave and become some famous artist while I’m just going to stay here, of course. My grades, background…no college is going to take me.”
“What about community college?”
I almost laughed, but the lock of her jaw and tightness of her lips told me better. “What about it? You really think I have the money for that?”
Rocky’s eyes drooped. “It just sucks to think I’ll be so far away from you. You know I’m applying to Greystone and all.”
“Greystone University. Future home of Raquel Rossi.” Even saying the name of the school sucked ass. The college was about five hours away, and though I knew it was her dream to attend it, now that it seemed so close to happening I selfishly prayed she wouldn’t get in. I was a terrible person.
“Don’t call me Raquel,” she snapped
I bit my bottom lip and sucked in a breath. “Sorry…You’ll get in.”
“You think so?”
Unfortunately.
I nodded. “I know so.”
The cars continued to pass above us, rumbling and shaking the concrete. When I was younger, I used to sit and watch the cars fly by, picturing the different families that filled them. They were probably the traditional kind—two parents, happy kids, and maybe a dog. Then I’d start imagining the places they’d be going to. Maybe they were just going to the mall, or maybe they were taking a cross country trip to visit even more family.
Family.
Such an odd concept, and one I could only hope to understand.
“Why did your dad call?” Rocky asked timidly.
I snuck a glance at her, not entirely sure whether or not I wanted to get into it. However, I knew I couldn’t lie to her. Surprisingly,