paused in horror.
“What’s wrong?” I asked in confusion.
“We can’t go in there!”
“Why not?”
“It’s the kitchen! Isn’t that some FDA violation?” she looked extremely nervous, which did nothing but kick me in the gut. She was definitely not the rule breaker from yesteryear. It only confirmed my theory—I really did drag her down with me every single time.
I stared at her blankly. “It’s also my business and I say we’re allowed in.”
“But—”
“My office is inside. Come on,” I urged.
As we meandered past the counters, my employees lifted their hands in happy greeting. A few even nodded their heads, grinning from ear to ear. More than likely they were enthused to find out that I knew somebody of the opposite sex. My reputation of being an asexual workaholic was often a favorite topic of conversation.
“Wow, everyone likes you,” Rocky commented.
“Is that a surprise?” I laughed.
“No, I just mean…” Her voice trailed off, but I didn’t press her on it. I didn’t feel a need to. I was quite surprised that a loner deviant like me would even have employees who tolerated me, let alone liked me. A few of us would even hit a bar or two after closing time. It was a far cry from who I was in Bethel Falls, that’s for sure. If it still surprised me, I could only imagine how Rocky must have felt.
I squeezed in behind my desk, trying to figure out a way that both of us would be comfortable when I heard Rocky’s awestruck whisper. “You kept your copy?”
I grinned at my favorite photograph. The beginning of all things that ended between us. I didn’t know why I loved it so much. Truthfully, it was a bit depressing.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I? It was the only thing you ever mailed to me after I moved…It was a good night.”
“Pretty good,” she agreed.
“Got worse as it went on though,” I grunted.
Rocky sighed. “Can we change the subject?”
I’d love nothing more.
“To what?”
“Like…um…” She tapped her fingers against my desk, her tell to run away, but we both knew there was no way she could hide out now. “Why drive me across state lines? You could have just told me about your restaurant. I would have believed you.”
“But you wouldn’t see the relationship I have with my employees,” I explained. “You wouldn’t see the following I have and all the regulars I tend to.”
“I would have believed all those things even without seeing them,” she insisted.
I reached out and began to drum my fingers on the table beside hers. She abruptly pulled her hands back into her lap and I couldn’t help but feel a slight sting about it.
Well, here goes nothing.
“I wanted to show you that even if I was here, I still thought about you every day. I stare at this photo during every shift. I used to just sit here and dream about seeing you again. I’d wonder what you were doing, who you were with.” I gulped. “Or if you were seeing somebody.”
“You could have just called me and asked. Actually, you could have even visited.”
It’s really not that simple.
I gazed around my kitchen and motioned around. “See this? This is what I made myself out to be. Once I moved to Charleston I was able to say goodbye to the Jesse that kept fucking everything up and reinvent myself. Sure, when I first got here I was still trying to be that same badass I was. I’d sneak out, binge drink, and one time I even got high on some laced shit and was on the verge of just ending it all.”
“What?” She gasped.
I hadn’t meant to tell her all that, but I was glad I did. It was time to get everything out in the open. Even the bad things I’d rather have kept hidden.
Nodding, I continued, “Then my dad basically knocked some sense into me. He enrolled me into therapy for my anger management and drinking problem. I hated it at first, but the same group also landed me my first job as a bus boy. I soon realized that putting all my restlessness into something productive was good for me. It wasn’t long until I became a workaholic and realized that positivity was all I needed to better myself. I needed good things in my life to prevent me from going bad again.”
“So that’s why you shut me out? Why you stopped calling me and stopped returning my calls to you? Because I wasn’t