to decide. Are we just talking about you and your spouse? I think in many cases, two people can reasonably fit their treasures on a decent-size dining room table. But it’s okay for each of you to get your own table, if necessary, especially if it’s a particularly small table.
If you have one or more kids, I certainly don’t expect the family to share one table for their treasures. However, I don’t think each child warrants as much space as an adult should have. Carefully monitor what goes into your kids’ treasure piles. Often everything is a treasure to a child, including the stuff they’d quickly forget if they no longer had it.
The point here is to establish a very clear limit for you, your kids, and your spouse. (Though when I was downsizing my parents’ home, it’s worth noting that the treasures my six siblings and I chose didn’t even fill the table!)
Q. Can you come help me lift this sofa/hope chest/riding lawnmower onto my table? It’s heavy!
Sorry, I’m just here to offer advice and encouragement! I can show you how to successfully downsize, but the heavy lifting is up to you.
If you have furniture that you consider a treasure, you can exempt it from the table test. Consider it a freebie that doesn’t count against your quota.
But before you pledge to wheel it into the moving truck and ship it across town, the state, or the country, ask yourself, “Why would I really be keeping this thing?” As I’ve already mentioned, and an outside expert will confirm later in this chapter, you’re likely never going to sell heavy, old furniture for any appreciable amount of money. If a knowledgeable appraiser has told you—recently . . . not in 1991!—that your sofa is worth a lot of money, that’s one thing. But if you’re operating on wishful thinking, that’s another.
Do you want to keep the sofa or the memory attached to it? (This is always a good question to ask, even if the object is a small trinket.)
Do you want this sofa only because your parents treasured it and you’re supposed to pass it along to your kids? Take a close look at your feelings. Do you truly enjoy this sofa? Do you actually use it? Is it comfortable? Will it look good in your new home? Do you have the space for it? (And I’m not talking about putting it in your garage until you can work something out.) If so, then keep it!
On the other hand, is the cost to move the sofa more than it’s actually worth? If so, I think you know what to do.
Is it uncomfortable, awkward, and saggy? Don’t keep it! Also, don’t keep it just because someone told you it was an heirloom. You’re an adult, and this couch is now yours. You get to decide what an heirloom is in your family. Odds are good that your Gen X or millennial offspring won’t want this thing when it’s their turn to receive it. If this couch—or whatever large object you’re looking at—no longer has a place in your family’s life, don’t pass it and the guilt on to your kids. Let it end here.
Now let’s talk about the hope chest. Every family has some equivalent of this. It might be a sideboard filled with linens that belonged to your grandmother, a cabinet that holds stuff collected during family trips when you were a child, or an actual chest at the foot of your bed that contains seldom-looked-at family keepsakes. If you have such a container filled with items that you just know are treasures, open it and go through these items one by one. Each must bring up a memory of a “most, best, or greatest” moment in your life. As I’m sure you’ll find out, the entire contents of the container won’t meet these criteria.
As far as the lawnmower goes, if it’s something you use regularly and you’ll have room for it at your next home, consider it a “worthy” item even if it also has sentimental value. These are belongings that are important to you because you often need them. Your hair dryer, television, and toaster also fall into this category. Ignore these for now. You’ll judge them later by a different set of criteria.
Q. The vintage sausage grinders/medical books/office equipment that help me remember my father’s hard work take up a lot of space on the table!
Remember, you’re keeping the best item, not the best category. One of