aside, his stomach revolting at the idea of him drinking anymore. “What if this was my one chance with him and I fucked it up? I snuck out of his bed like I was ashamed of what we’d done or something, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. What if he won’t give me another chance?”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “Then he doesn’t deserve you, babycakes. You got scared and did something dumb, so what? Go over to his place and wait for him. Apologize and explain what happened.”
“I don’t really know what happened,” he said, but his mind had latched onto what Kevin had said. He was right—Lukas needed to be there when John got home so he could tell him right away how sorry he was.
Kevin shrugged and stood. “Tell him that. Or spend the next however many hours trying to figure out what scared you so badly you ran away from the man you’ve loved for years.”
Kevin disappeared, and Lukas listened as he went upstairs. The water in the shower turned on not long afterward. Ruby ambled over and set her head on Lukas’s thigh, her eyes letting him know how happy she was that he was home.
Leaning over, he kissed her forehead. “Sorry, sweet girl. I have to run out again, but Kevin will still be here.”
The text he’d gotten from John was from about an hour and half earlier, so if John had left right after that, that meant Lukas had roughly ninety minutes to figure out what the hell he would say to explain himself and get John to give him another chance.
He had the first omelet cooking on the stove before he turned and faced John once more. “I got scared.”
John had both of his elbows on the island and was resting his chin on his clasped hands as he watched Lukas. “Because we had sex?”
He shook his head and forced himself to keep looking at John. “No, because of what I said afterward.”
Nodding, John’s gaze remained steady. “That you love me.”
Lukas couldn’t stop his small gasp at how easily John said it. Swallowing, he croaked out, “Yeah.”
John nodded again and then turned sideways and held out his hand. “Come here, baby.”
Lukas quickly flipped the stove off, then nearly sprinted around the island and crowded between John’s spread thighs and collapsed on his wide chest, taking a deep, shuddery breath. His fingers dug into John’s T-shirt as he inhaled his scent. Fuck, he still smelled a little like sex with only hints of his body wash coming through.
His large hands ran up and down Lukas’s back as he pressed his head into Lukas’s. “Why would that scare you? Did you think I’d be upset that you gave me such an amazing gift?”
Eyes stinging, he felt a tear slide down his cheek and buried his face farther into John’s neck. “It was too fast,” he whispered. “I know you don’t feel the same, and I didn’t want… I don’t want you to feel like I’m putting pressure on you to l-love me b-back.”
John nudged his face away, his mouth turning down in a frown at the sight of Lukas’s tear-streaked face. He made a sad sound in the back of his throat and used his rough thumb to wipe at Lukas’s wet cheeks. “Lukas, tell me the real reason you ran away.”
Lukas sucked in a breath and squeezed his eyes shut. Fuck, how did he know?
“Baby, look at me and tell me.” John’s voice had taken on a harder edge, demanding Lukas’s compliance.
Goose bumps sprung up on Lukas’s arms at the sound, and he peeled his eyes open. He stared into John’s warm brown eyes and swallowed loudly before finally forcing the words out. “I realized that even though I loved you… you’d never choose me over my dad, so I needed to leave before my heart got broken.”
Chapter Thirteen
Fuck, of course that was what Lukas thought. John cupped his cheeks and made sure he had Lukas’s full attention, staring into his shining emerald eyes. “Your dad is my best friend—”
Lukas tried to turn away, pain filling his face, but John forced him to stay in place.
“No, listen to me. Dave is my best friend, but you’re… you’re the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. Possibly my whole life. The way you make me feel, the things I want to do to you…” He had to pause to take a deep breath and gather his thoughts. “When I woke