hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before.”
- Cal Newport
A soft smile comes over my face as a funny idea enters my mind.
I do need to disconnect from everything right now.
So, after track practice, I do something I’d never do. I leave my phone in my room and head to the studio Grant set up for me. Those two other girls are still there, painting.
I pick my pastels, and I start.
I don’t know what I’m painting, but I also feel like it doesn’t even matter.
My stress melts away as I lose myself in the first painting.
I push it aside and make another.
And another.
I forget where I am, who I am, I forget about the optional track workout we have this afternoon.
The sun goes down. The two other girls leave. I forget about everything.
And I paint the darkest depths of my soul.
Maybe this is my version of Grant’s red notebook. It certainly feels therapeutic.
I paint, and I smile a truly heartfelt smile at embracing a part of me I’d set aside so long ago.
23
Grant
Saturday afternoon, Chris, Nelson, DJ, and I head out of our suite and across the quad to the Alpha Z house for some bro time.
It’s been a hell of a day for Greene State U and the Alpha Z’s. We cheered on our junior fraternity brother, Greyson West, as he led us to a win against a west coast rival team. We’ve got a great class of freshmen coming in whom we’re excited about, and now it’s time to celebrate. Tonight is a party night.
As we walk across the quad, my mind wanders to Maya and how I didn’t see her last night. She was busy painting which makes me happy.
We cross the volleyball courts near the fraternity house, rattle up the fire escape and into the side door of the Alpha Z house. Then find Finn’s room.
“So, dude, tell these guys again about the show. I mean, you told me, but these guys don’t know about the greatness of the Red Lemons,” Finn says.
I tell them all about hanging out with the band, that we partied with them all night. Since then, Maya and I have hung out multiple times, on the sly. This even included one time in the Old Main study room and let’s just say we weren’t exactly studying.
“No way! You stayed out until three partying with them?” Nelson asks.
Their jaws drop and then Finn puts on Red Lemons’s latest song, “Never This Easy.”
I say, “Yeah, Maya made friends with Johnny Donovan’s girlfriend, Violet.”
They all raise their cans of beers. “Maya is savage. How’d she even do that?”
I shrug. “It’s fucking Maya.”
They all nod. They’ve seen her in action, and they know. She has this ability to charm anyone, from young children to cranky great aunts, to your friend’s girlfriend who doesn’t like anyone.
“Plus, Violet is Greyson West’s cousin,” I add.
I go on for a few minutes, telling them how we met the entire crew, and how great the night was.
Finn comments, “Dude, they are blowing up. Like literally between that show, and this week, they’re opening for Weezer, man. Fucking Weezer!”
Eyes widen across the room.
“You know a famous group,” Chris says.
I smirk. “C’mon, we’ve got our own world-famous quarterback right here.” I slap DJ on the back and we all laugh.
He gives us dirty looks. “Not world famous. I think we all know they don’t give a shit about American football anywhere but in the United States.”
Finn puts on the Red Lemons’s old album. “I’m so pissed I didn’t get to go with you guys. I was under the weather. But at least someone got to go. How was hanging out with Maya?”
Goosebumps form on my skin, and my gut clenches. I should tell them. These are my best friends. My pledge brothers.
But once the cat is out of the bag, it would only take one drunken slip-up from any of them. Maya and I made a pact, and I’d never break it.
“Oh, dude, it was good,” I say. “She’s awesome. I love her.”
They all crack up. “Yeah, you do!” Nelson slaps his knee. “Bro, who are you kidding, sounding all generic and shit? ‘She’s awesome.’ Bullshit. You want her bad. I haven’t seen someone with such an obvious crush since Ross and Rachel.”
“She’s attractive, yeah. Who wouldn’t want her?”
Finn tick-tocks his finger back and forth. “No, no, no. We’re not falling for your Jedi mind tricks of asking questions and distracting us. ‘Who wouldn’t want her?’ That’s not what we’re