She gets a funny look.
“Man, that’s frustrating,” I reply. “Getting what you want, but then everything still feels off.”
“And with my birthday coming up, it’s all crystalizing. The truth is, I’ve been bored out of my mind in classes last week and today. I just can’t find a way to care about Twentieth Century Art and Architecture right now. And don’t get me started on my Intro to Business class. It’s so boring. But my dad will be happy.”
“Your dad will be happy,” I repeat. “Well, what about you?”
She’s silent for a few moments. “Sorry for unloading on you. I had to get everything off my chest.”
“Maya, you can put it on my chest,” I say, then wonder about the awkward wording I just had.
She sticks her tongue out playfully and winks. “That’s what she said.”
I crack up. “Oh, you.”
“So, this is a crazy question, Grant.”
“I bet I’ve heard crazier.”
“I only ask because you’re part shaman. Have you ever done magic mushrooms?”
My eyes widen, and I look over at her. “Well, hello, then. Why do you want to know?”
“Well, I went to Amsterdam when I was in Italy, and you could actually buy them over the counter. Some friends of mine did, and I babysat them but I didn’t partake. I was scared. So, have you?”
I nod. “I have.”
“Why?”
“I was in a car accident when I was sixteen, it happened after a high school dance.”
“Seriously?”
I pull out my phone, google the story really quickly and hand her the phone so she can see.
“And that is why you don’t drink and drive,” I tell her. “So, after that, I was grieving pretty hard for a year, and I wasn’t getting better. I was very depressed. So, my brother got this ‘guide’ he knew—from Greene State, actually—and we went out to my cabin in the North Woods of Wisconsin and did them. It was therapeutic.”
“So, you’d do them again?”
“Only in a naturalistic setting. And only with people I really trust.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
She takes a deep breath. “Good. I trust you, too. I’d do them with you. If you want to.”
“Are you for real right now?
“Yes, I’m for real. I need to figure out what’s bothering me and soon. What if…oh God.”
“What?!”
“What if I decide college isn’t for me?”
I lean back and put my arms behind my head. “Well, you do at least like Art History, right? Even if it’s a little boring right now?”
“I do, but…” she stands up, and does a couple of ballet twirls, then points her hand toward the window and the cold winter outside. “Sometimes I feel like we’re living in a freaking bubble! Like who cares about fancy degrees and pieces of paper in the real world? There are so many things I could learn out there, for free! I’m majoring in what I am, yet I haven’t even been to the Art Institute of Chicago! And it’s what, three hours away? Why not, Grant? Why not?”
I stand up. “Well, let’s go. Next weekend. We can go there!”
“That’s a great idea!” She runs to her phone. “I’ll tell Jude right now that’s where we’ll go for my birthday. You can bring the guys!”
A brick forms in my chest.
Just what I want.
A weekend…with Maya, Jude, and the guys.
I sigh. I’m off in la-la land, thinking we’ll be anything more than friends.
What the hell is the matter with me?
“Oh! He’s in. I’ll tell the girls too, maybe they can come! Are you excited?”
“Yes,” I nod robotically.
This is going to be so much fun.
10
Grant
“So…Jude can’t make it,” Maya says as she comes huffing up to the train late Friday morning. “He’s sick.”
“Oh, man, that’s too bad,” I say, though I feel as if a weight has just been lifted off my back. It’s come to the point where I cannot stand this dude. Not just because he’s dating Maya, ok, maybe ninety percent of the reason is, but although he can be charming, I also think he’s a little smarmy, in the way that he’s not truthful and not good for Maya. “The rest of the crew bailed too…just had too much work to do this weekend they said.”
“Yeah. Looks like it’s just you and me,” she says. “I can’t believe everyone’s canceled on us. You think we can downgrade our hotel room?”
“Sure, why don’t you take care of it,” I say. “You were the one who reserved it on the app, right?”
“Good idea! I’ll do that right now. We’ll save some money, at least.”
A few minutes later,