me climax basically just by the sound of his voice, as he had me envision how hot it would be if he went down on me.
Grant throws another pitch to his catcher, then turns around and wipes the sweat off his brow.
“Um, yeah. Well, you know what’s better than conversations that are ‘like sex’? Actual sex. You should try having that with him.”
My body stiffens. “Maybe.”
“What’s with you?” Charlotte says, putting down the last orange cone. “Last year you were so fearless. And now you’re acting like if you make a move on a guy you really like it could be the end of the world.”
“That’s just it. If we go past the point of no return right now, there’s no turning back. I really do value our friendship. And if we have actual sex, or something like it…”
Charlotte turns to me and puts her hand on my shoulder. “Have you ever heard my theory about men and women?”
“What about them?”
“Well, when there’s any sort of attraction involved, women and men can’t be just friends.”
Grant throws another pitch, then turns around and our eyes catch. He flexes his jaw.
“You’re going to throw away a chance with him because…why?”
I swallow. “Because, what if Grant turns me down? With Jude, I’m already over him but that’s because I never really cared about him in the first place. He lived down the street from me in Italy, and it was just more about the convenience factor. Grant knows me so well. If he turns me down…I’ll feel like he threw away my soul or something.”
“Maya,” Charlotte says. “If he throws away your soul, then you’ll know he isn’t the one. But the only way to find out for sure is to put yourself out there.”
“Thanks, Charlotte. That’s really solid advice.”
“You’re welcome. Now, let’s purposefully do a little warmup run so we can take a look at the hotties on the Saint Simeon team.”
We start a jog around the track that takes us past them, and I notice one of the athletes, Noah Leewood, is staring right back at us.
Well, at Charlotte, to be exact. He’s tall, muscular, handsome, and, well, he’s our track team’s biggest nemesis.
I nudge Charlotte’s elbow and whisper, “You went to high school with him, right?”
She nods. “Yep. Galesburg High School. And there is no fathoming how much I hate Noah Leewood.”
“That, my dear, sounds like a good story for another time.”
I trudge back to my dorm after the meet. We were neck and neck and we beat them. Charlotte has to go over to her mom’s house for something, and the guys on the track team head out for a celebratory guys’ team dinner.
When I get back, our suite is quiet.
I head into my room and take off my singlet—which I should have just done in the athletic facility locker room, but after being in the fieldhouse since the morning, I just wanted to get out of there.
Alex, April, Faith, and Donnie are all out at a party tonight. I’m planning on joining them but first I’ve got to take a shower.
My mom calls right as I’m throwing my robe on.
“Hello, Mama!”
“Hi! How was your meet?”
I give her the run down.
“Great. I want you to know, I spoke with Dad and he was very proud of how you’ve matured this year. Even I was surprised you agreed to minor in business! I didn’t know that was an interest of yours.”
“It’s out of my comfort zone, to be fair.”
“Hopefully not too far out of your comfort zone. You’re still doing what you want, right?”
“Oh, yeah. I do want it…” I trail off.
“Okay. Because your dad has a way of being forceful sometimes. That was part of what led to our divorce.”
“He just wants the best for me. It’s out of love.”
“Right. But that’s why I’m calling to check on everything. How’s Jude?”
Strangely, I don’t even have a pang of anxiety when my mom says his name. It’s been two weeks since the incident, and I don’t really give him much thought.
“We broke up.” I tell my mom the gory details, and also how I’m not feeling anything for him, good or bad.
“That’s excellent, Pumpkin. Whether you love someone or hate them, they still have a way of controlling your thoughts. Indifference to them means you’re truly over someone. But…it’s a little interesting that you’re already over him in two weeks.”
“I think it just goes to show I wasn’t that into him in the first place.”
“That’s true. Take some time for