not really sure if I recall what I’ve been wearing.” I play it down. Well, we had a little winter heat wave, so I thought I’d take advantage of it.
“I can. You wore that jean skirt on Monday, floral print on Wednesday, and today you’re wearing a black tight knit skirt.”
My stomach clenches. I can’t be telling her the true reason for my skirt wearing.
Even though Grant and I haven’t fully utilized that benefit yet this week.
“Why are you acting so weird?” she asks me. I could ask her the same, I go for the diversion tactic.
“No real reason. So…how are you and Matt?”
“We’re terrific.”
“That’s great.”
“You seem skeptical.” April looks at me like she wants to tell me something.
“Have you two rounded the bases yet?”
“We’re getting there.”
“Who’s holding it up, you or him?”
“We both are. We’re being respectful of how we’re moving things forward.”
“I see,” I say. “So…” My mind wanders off course. I can’t seem to think straight these days. Maybe I am giving my friends reason to wonder about me.
“What’s on your mind?”
“I want to ask a question, but I feel like it will come out judgmental if I ask it. But I’m not really trying to be judgmental.”
“Just ask me, Maya.”
“Are you going to wait until you’re married to, you know. Round all the bases?”
She sighs. “I know that would make my dad happy.”
“Your dad doesn’t have to know anything about it.”
“I know. But it’s just, ever since my mom passed away, we’ve become so close. And I told him I wouldn’t.” She sounds so relieved to have announced this.
“Like he made you promise not to?”
She shakes her head. “That’s the thing. He didn’t at all. He said, you’re an adult woman, and you can make the adult decisions with your body. Just make sure it’s a decision your mother would be proud of.”
My heart clenches, and I notice April getting a little misty-eyed.
“Damn.”
“Yeah, I don’t want you to get this oppressive picture in your head about my dad. That’s all he said about sex to me. The biggest warning he gave me when I went away to college was not to come back with any pets.”
I crack up. “He’s a good man. Thanks for telling me your rationale on that. It’s interesting.”
“What do you think? Do you think I’m being silly, trying to wait for marriage?”
“I think you should do whatever feels right in your heart. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for when people should have sex. But…”
My phone vibrates on my desk, and Grant’s name lights up my screen notifications.
Even just seeing his name makes me buzz inside.
“But what?”
“This might piss you off. If Matt were here, he’d definitely get pissed off at me. But I still feel obligated to say it. I don’t think you’re really all that attracted to Matt.”
“Umm…of course I’m attracted to him. He’s my boyfriend,” she says.
And although I expected that response it wasn’t a passionate one.
“Obviously. But I think if you were more attracted to him, you’d be unable to hold back around him.”
Like I can feel the heat pooling my legs right now just thinking of what a certain man can do to me.
“Has he ever given you an orgasm?”
“Of course!” she says defensively. “I mean…I think he has.”
I raise my eyebrow. “Hmm. Well my mom is a sex therapist…and one of the things she teaches is that if you’re wondering if you had one…you didn’t have one.”
She swallows, and her eyes tighten. “Huh. That’s interesting.”
“Look, I know my experiences are different than yours. But does Matt seem a little distant when you’re talking with him sometimes?”
“Yes, I think I’ve gotten that vibe, too.”
“And have you talked with Matt about this? The solution is easy. You know, just open the lines of communication.”
“Eh, he’s pretty busy. I don’t know if I want to bother him.”
“You shouldn’t feel like you’re bothering your boyfriend.”
She waves a hand. “Maybe it’ll be different once we’re engaged.”
“That’s…a possibility?”
She nods. “We talked about it the other day.”
I blink a few times. Little known fact about April: her dad runs his own hedge fund, and his net worth is up there. She’s so unassuming, you’d never guess she’s from one of the wealthiest families in the Chicago suburbs.
And every time I’ve seen her with Matt, I just get a funky feeling in my gut that I seem to ignore. It’s a similar feeling to when I was with Jude. I can’t put my finger on why, but something about the guy rubs me wrong.
But alas, they