couple’s profile it says they’re married.”
“So, you’re watching straight porn? What about gay porn?” Alex asks.
“Thursday is straight porn day, and then Friday I’ll roll into the weekend with some guy-guy stuff. I like to change it up, you know? And I like these questions, by the way. Keep ’em coming.”
I clear my throat and push my salad around. “So, how much money do you think these porn artists make?”
“Oh, I would say anywhere between a hundred and a few thousand dollars a day—for the good ones who know what they’re doing.”
Alex eyes me suspiciously. “Are you thinking about a side hustle?”
I scoff. “As if! I mean, don’t be ridiculous.”
Donnie mutters something softly to himself and April overhears, and I hear April giggle.
“Um, excuse me? What was that?” I ask.
“Nothing,” Donnie says, straightening up.
“I saw you talking about me, and I would appreciate it if you would tell the truth. You know, because we’re friends.”
“Okay, fine,” Donnie huffs. “I said, ‘Well, your blowjobs are definitely porn-worthy.’ That’s what all the sources say, at least.”
“Oh, and who are your sources?”
“First off, you. You yourself constantly say you give the best ones on campus. Second, Michael Farnsworth.”
“Oh,” I say, recalling a night a hot senior and I had during fall term.
My mind flits to item number one of the list Grant and I made this morning.
Just then, guess who pulls up to our table with his lunch tray filled.
“Hey, everyone. Mind if I grab a seat with you?”
“No, of course not,” Donnie says, happy to sit next to one of the hottest guys on campus. He gleefully points to the seat next to April.
“What are you all talking about? I could hear you laughing about something hilarious while I was in line,” Grant says, before biting into a piece of fried chicken.
“We were just debating who gives the best blowjobs on campus,” Donnie says. “Who would you say, in your opinion?”
He’s obviously trying to get a rise out of Grant, but Grant barely reacts. Instead, he nods as seriously as he did when I said I needed to find a way to make twelve-thousand dollars quick.
My stomach clenches, because I realize Grant is probably going through a rolodex of all the girls who have blown him, which doesn’t include me.
“Tough question,” he says. “Seems like one of those names a guy should keep to himself though.”
“Oh, come on, big guy. Give us a hint. We know you’ve hung out with a few girls.”
Grant leans in. “Honestly, for me, it’s just not about the technique. I think it’s overrated. It’s about the girl who it’s coming from.” He looks around at everyone, and then his eyes land on mine, sending a shiver down my spine. “And I think I still haven’t found the girl who is my end-all, be-all blowjob, you know?”
Donnie nods.
April chimes in. “Okay, you guys do realize we are eating, right? I’m not a prude but…”
I give April the look that we developed from being roommates last fall. One eyebrow raised, and a little shifty-eyed.
“Okay, I’m a little bit of a prude,” April admits.
Alex chimes in. “Can we change conversation topics? I’m about to eat a banana here.”
“You show that banana who’s boss,” Donnie winks at her.
Alex rolls her eyes. “That banana has nothing on DJ.”
“Okay, yeah, next topic!” Donnie says. “I need to stop thinking about dicks. Especially when all twenty of the out-of-the closet gays on campus are in relationships…with each other. It’s going to be a rough year, people. All I’ve got to say is, thank God I also like girls too. Because otherwise the pickings would be slimmer than Slim Shady.”
A good-looking guy walks by and eyes our table.
Grant leans in. “There are only twenty out-of-the-closet gays on campus?”
“That’s what I’ve calculated, yes.”
“Have you met Fred?” He thumbs back toward the man who just walked by.
“Uh, no. Who’s Fred?” Donnie asks.
“Right fielder for the baseball team. Very shy guy. Keeps to himself. He is very nonchalantly out of the closet.”
Donnie sits up. “How did I not know this?”
Grant lowers his voice. “He’s a sophomore in my frat. Just came out like a month ago. He had a girlfriend for the first year of school. I don’t know all the details, but I’ve chilled with him a few times and he’s a cool guy. I’ll introduce you.”
We all watch as Grant jumps up and heads over to intersect him. Fred appears to be heading for a table by himself in the corner with his headphones on. Grant