sorry for everything, and we just want to make it up to you.”
“You’ll come home after you graduate,” Dad says, and I notice it’s more of a command than a request. “We’ll take you to the therapist we’ve been seeing, maybe he can help you work through some of the things you’ve been dealing with. And help you with this nonbinary business.”
I’m going to be sick. “I’ve been seeing Dr. Taylor, I like her.”
“Okay, well …” Mom glances toward Dad. “Maybe we could see her? Together.”
I stare down at her hand, still on top of mine. “I have some things to think about,” I say.
“Of course, just do it quickly.” Dad eyes the menus at the end of the table, stacked neatly on top of one another. “Did you want to order something?”
“No.” I stand up quickly and push my chair under. “I’ll message you when I’m ready to talk.”
“Ben, honey.” Mom makes like she’s going to stand up.
I stop her. “Just let me think, for a few days. Okay?”
She looks back at Dad, and I can tell he isn’t pleased. This isn’t how he wanted this meeting to go.
I’m betting they both wanted the perfect reunion where I’d run into their arms and hug them and agree to go back home with them, leaving behind what short life I’ve built here. Hannah, Thomas, Meleika, Sophie, Dr. Taylor.
Nathan.
I look his way and nod. He’s already up and waiting at the door for me. I guess Mom notices, so she turns in her seat. “Is that a friend of yours?”
“No,” I lie.
“Were you that scared, son?” Dad asks, almost like a joke. Except I’m not laughing.
“I’ll see you two later.” I keep myself from running toward Nathan and out to his car.
“Well, hold on.” Mom grabs her purse and starts following me. “I’d like to meet this boy.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
But it’s already too late. Mom manages to get ahead of me, stopping Nathan right at the door. “Hello there!” She sticks out a hand. “I’m Brenda De Backer, Ben’s mother.”
Nathan grins, eyes bright as he shakes her hand. “I’m Nathan.”
“Are you a friend of Ben’s?”
Nathan looks to me for approval, but what else can we really do? Pretend my mother’s shaking hands with a person I don’t know? I’m not going to lie, that would be kind of funny, but there’s really no use. I give Nathan a little nod.
“Yeah, we go to North Wake together. He asked me for a ride.”
Mom gives me a look. “Well, isn’t that nice? We were just meeting to talk about some things.”
“Are you ready to go, Nathan?” I ask. I need to get the hell out of here.
“Yeah.” Nathan digs around in his pocket. “I’m sorry, Mrs. De Backer, but we’re meeting some friends downtown, and we’re already pretty late,” he lies.
Bless Nathan Allan.
“Oh, well.” Mom’s still all smiles. “We’ll talk soon, Ben.” I nod, and Mom looks back at Nathan. “It was so nice to meet you. I’m glad Ben’s found friends.”
“Nice to meet you too, ma’am.” Nathan holds the door open for me, and we race toward his car, not looking back.
“Roof?” Nathan asks. We’ve been sitting in his driveway for a while now, no music, no talking. He turned the car off at first, but after a few seconds of just sitting there, he rolled down the windows to let in the cool night air.
Eventually I glance over at him. “Sure.”
Ryder gives me a hug, and I rub him behind the ears, but I don’t have much in me now. It’s like I’m running on empty. I feel exhausted, even though all we did was talk.
Nathan opens the window and helps me out this time, taking my hand and pulling me through the gap. At least this time, with better-fitting pants, I don’t almost fall to my death.
It’s actually breezy for April, but the sun is shining, so it’s more than enough to keep warm.
“So,” Nathan says, making his way to our normal spot. “She seemed nice, your mom.”
“Hmm.” I sit down next to him. I’d be shocked, but that’s the normal reaction when it comes to Mom and Dad. They put on that mask for strangers or family friends. Slipping in a backhanded comment about me here or there.
“What did they say to you?” he asks.
“They wanted me to come home.” Even to me, my voice sounds empty.
“Wow.” Nathan runs a hand along the top of his hair. “That’s …”
“Yeah.”
“Fucked up.” Nathan pulls his knees in close.
I look down