said, it needs to be someone who does the same for you. You need to let someone take care of you, Griff. You can’t be the lighthouse for everyone else to find their way home in the storm.”
My heart was thudding, and it felt like a river was racing in my ears. I stopped, and he did too. We looked at each other, and damned if my pulse didn’t begin sprinting even more.
“You’re not gonna get all mushy on me, are you?”
He was trying to play it off, trying to change the subject, but I wasn’t going to let him. “And you don’t? Deserve that? Want that?”
He rolled his eyes. “Not everyone is cut out for the same thing, and that’s okay.”
“Yeah, but I see it in you,” I admitted. “You like to take care of people too. You’re a protector.” He was more than that. Even this trip proved it. The fact that he’d asked me to go away because he knew I needed it, and he wanted to cook breakfast for me and make the time here special. Goddamn it. I rubbed a hand over my chest.
“Yeah, but if I don’t settle down, I can take care of many, many people. As many and as often as I like.” He winked.
“Don’t do that.” Holy fuck. It was a cover for something. What in the hell had Josh been through, and why hadn’t I seen it before?
“Leave it alone, Griffy.” He’d returned my sentiment from earlier, and I had no option but to respect it the way he had, but I couldn’t get it out of my head.
Josh was running from something.
There were even more ways Josh felt lonely like me.
“There’s a small waterfall not too far in. Race you to it,” Josh said, then damned if the bastard didn’t start running. It was impossible not to do the same. There wasn’t a bone in my body that could ignore a competition with him.
I caught up with him quickly as we weaved our way around trees and down the trail, before we hit a creek and a waterfall.
We stopped, both breathing heavily.
“Tie, damn it,” Josh said.
“And you cheated.”
“I didn’t cheat,” he countered.
“Um, yeah you did.”
Then he tugged his tee over his head, and I found myself doing the same. We took our shoes and socks off and walked through the creek a little, chatting and enjoying the scenery.
We weren’t there long before we took the trail again and kept going. We didn’t stop until it was time for lunch, which we ate on a large boulder a few feet off the path.
From there we headed back the way we’d come and toward my vehicle. We didn’t talk about anything important. Josh was just Josh, and I spent half the time either laughing or wanting to strangle him, so I guessed we were us. In a strange way, over time, Josh and I had become an us, which felt different from the us I had with any other friend.
“Let’s go swimming.” Josh was nearly bouncing in his seat as I pulled back up at our cabin.
“That water is cold as fuck.”
“Come on, Grumpy G. Don’t be a baby.” He started poking me in the side like a ten-year-old.
“You’re so immature.”
“You like it. You think I’m fun. I dare you to go swimming with me.”
I swatted his hand away and turned to look at him. “That’s not going to work.”
“Yes it is. Get your ass out of the truck, and let’s go get changed.”
Fucker. He was right. It was so going to work.
We went into the cabin. Josh grabbed his trunks and tossed them onto the bed. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, tugged them down. “Do you think there are going to be little fish that nibble our toes?” he teased.
I glanced at him, and he grinned. “You’re such a dork.” My eyes found their way down his body, taking in Josh’s muscular pecs, the barbells through his nipples, his flat, defined abs, and then landing on the bulge beneath his tight boxer briefs. Lust shot through me, potent and quick, desire burning low in my belly. I turned around quickly, trying to get myself under control.
I wanted him. Christ, I really fucking wanted Josh. A man. My brother’s best friend.
One of my best friends too.
Part of me wanted to celebrate, to revel in the desire coursing through me. It wasn’t a biological reaction to being touched or kissed or sucked; this was bone-deep longing in a way I’d never