I fucking loved, but feeling that, whatever it was, wasn’t something I was willing to get myself into.
We kept climbing, needing to pass a few people along the way. I wasn’t gonna lie, my legs were burning like hell, the back of my neck sweating. Griff was glossy too, but neither of us complained, just kept going, this friendly competition between us.
When we got closer to the top, it was as if we had the same thought at the same time. We paused, looked at each other, looked ahead—there were no people there—then looked at each other again before we started running, trying to take the steps as fast as we could, each wanting to beat the other.
We hit the last stair, then stumbled to the top together, gasping for breath and laughing.
“Holy shit, that was stupid.” Griff was bent over, hands on his knees.
Yeah, but he’d had fun. I could see it in the small smile curling his lips. That was really all I wanted.
“You’re telling me. It’s all your fault. I wouldn’t have gone there, but then I saw the look in your eyes.” Total lie. I would have gone there. I’d wanted to go there.
“Joshy is a liar. Who knew?” he teased, and we both laughed again. God, I was having a blast with him. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d enjoyed myself with someone so much.
“Come on. Let’s check out the view.”
We walked over to the railing together and—“Wow,” Griff said.
He’d taken the word right out of my mouth. The panoramic view was incredible—looking out over the gorge at the expanse of trees for as far as the eye could see, seeing all the fall colors contrasting with the blue of the lake. We stood there side by side, arms touching, neither of us pulling away. “I feel so small when I look at the world like this. Not small in a bad way,” I added.
“No, no. I get it. It’s a reminder of how much is out there, so much we haven’t seen. It’s hard to remember how beautiful the world is sometimes, but when you see it like this…”
“There’s no denying it,” I finished for him.
A few moments later, I said, “Hey, wanna hear something weird?”
“Sure.”
This was maybe a big-ass mistake, and honestly, I didn’t know what it meant, just that it was true and I had to say it. “I’m glad it’s you…that I’m sharing this with. I don’t know why, but it just feels right.” Right like it did when Kellan and I started our friendship, and yet different at the same time.
It took him a minute to reply. I was starting to wonder if I’d said the wrong thing or upset him somehow when Griffin said, “Yeah, I’m glad it’s you too.”
We stood there together, just breathing and taking in the world around us. It felt like something shifted, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.
Eventually we headed back down. We explored the park some more, had lunch at the same diner we’d gone to the day before, then rented a boat to take out on the lake for a few hours.
We gave each other shit, joked around, argued about dumb things—that seemed to be how Griff and I worked—yet things between us still felt…subtly changed.
We were both beat by the time we got back to the cabin that evening. Still, we grilled some steaks and sat out on the back deck for dinner. We talked about everything, really, but somehow about nothing at all too. The day had gotten to both of us, I thought, the climb and being out in the sun.
We took turns showering again, then watched a movie before heading to bed around ten.
We lay there together. Sharing a bed with Griff wasn’t close to the first time I’d shared a bed with a man, obviously. Some of my hookups, we slept together all night; others, we got up and went our separate ways after the sex. I’d slept with Kellan beside me too many times to count—without the sex—but I sure as hell was aware of Griff beside me in ways I wasn’t familiar with.
Except the few times I’d spent the night in a bed with Doug all those years ago.
“Fuck,” I whispered softly.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I’d thought he was asleep.
We were quiet for a little while, before Griff said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” We were both on our backs, not touching, just as we’d done the night before.
“It’s