We just keep pretending. Then we go off to college together as best friends, and we’ll be across the country from them. No one will ever know, and we can be together for real.”
“Yeah,” he replied. “We can be together for real.”
My eyes jerked open, the dream about Doug already fading. This was freaking me out. I hadn’t dreamed about him in a long-ass time. I tried, as much as possible, to keep myself from thinking about Doug. It hurt too much, and I sure as shit didn’t want to relive that pain again. Ever. I planned to do everything in my power to keep that from happening. Love…fuck, love hurt, and I wasn’t a masochist, wasn’t fond of things hurting.
Grumbling, I got out of bed and went straight for the shower. It was a little early, but there was no reason to put off getting up and ready for work.
It had been a few days since my crazy-ass, what-in-the-hell-had-I-been-thinking offer to take a trip with Griff. I had no idea where that had come from, and even though I’d felt a stab of disappointment when he said no, I figured it was for the best. What did I expect to change or get better by going on some weird journey with him to… I didn’t even know where I’d planned to go. That was the most fucked-up part of it all. Well, maybe not the most.
I finished getting ready for work, filled up my to-go coffee mug, and headed for Get Pumped.
Sometimes I still couldn’t believe it was mine. I’d never had huge dreams to run the world the way Doug had. Part of the pressure came from his family, there was no denying that, but some was him. He’d wanted things I never did. Occasionally I’d wonder how we’d fit so well, how we’d made sense, but we had when we’d been together. He’d grounded me in some ways, and I’d set him free in others.
Shit. I was thinking about him again. My mind was playing tricks on me, and somehow, I knew it had something to do with Griffin Caine. He was both infuriating and a breath of fresh air. Leave it to Griff to be confusing as hell.
I took care of my morning duties before opening the gym. Paul was running the front desk today, and I had Stacy with me, one of the other trainers.
The day went by quickly, without any major hiccups. Those were always my favorite kinds of days. After my shift ended, I got in a workout, then headed home to shower.
I had dinner and fucked around in the house for a little while before I started to get antsy. I’d always been like that, had all this pent-up energy that needed to escape. I tried to work on one of my model cars. It was something I’d picked up when I was a teenager. Doug and I used to do them together, and I had a display case filled with them. But even that wasn’t keeping my attention. For just a moment, I thought about hopping on to Grindr or getting in touch with one of the guys I hooked up with, who lived in the neighboring towns, but I didn’t do either. Instead, I shoved my phone into my pocket, grabbed my keys, and found myself driving to Griff’s.
I hadn’t seen him since I offered to temporarily run away with him, so I figured I’d go to the bar, grab a beer, and shoot the shit. From what Kell said earlier, he and Chase had plans. Natalie was at work. That was why I told myself I was going to hang out with Griffin and nothing else.
It was early evening on a weeknight, so when I got there, I wasn’t surprised it wasn’t very busy. Rock music played through the speakers, and as I made my way to Griff, he glanced up from the beer he was pouring. It looked like he’d gotten a haircut, his black hair now slightly shorter on the sides and longer on top. His behaved in ways mine didn’t, lying down just as it should. I watched him as those deep brown eyes of his took me in. Griff had this rugged look about him. Not like Knox, but he had this perma-dusting of dark stubble along his jaw, and deep-set eyes that always looked like he was worrying about the whole damn world.
I took a stool across from him. “What’s up, Grumpy G?” I