taunt.
He begins circling around me like a shark.
Truong is such a glamour queen. He is all about fashion and hair, and he thinks more mousse is better than less mousse, hence his hair is like an elaborate concrete coiffure.
I strike an elegant pose. “If you had one of these babies, your spiky hair wouldn’t be squished in the middle.”
Suddenly, Truong pounces on me like a panther. He mauls me and paws me, making a desperate lunge for my headset.
Like a sabre-toothed tiger, I fiercely fight him off.
“Hah! You can have my headset when you pry it out of my cold dead hands!” I huff and hustle.
After a mad scramble and scuffle, he graciously gives up.
“This baby is mine, mine, mine,” I sing triumphantly. “Okay, I’ll dial your extension and we’ll test this baby out. You on?”
“I’m on,” he says gamely.
We dart back to our cubicles and I dial his extension. “Truong, are you there?”
“Hey, Dum Dum, I’m here. Looking right at you,” he sniggers from the cubicle next to me.
“Well enjoy my company while it lasts you Ding-a-Ling. I’ll be moving desks tomorrow. Okay, now I’m heading back to the break room,” I say in a giddy voice.
Upon setting foot in the break room, I check in with Truong.
“Can you hear me now?”
“Loud and clear,” he says, giggling in my ear.
Next, I head for the restroom. “Can you hear me now?”
“Sure can. But don’t stay in the toilet!” he shrieks. “I don’t want to hear you doing your nasty bizzznessss.”
“Already out the door,” I tweet. “Now I’m taking the stairs all the way down to the cafeteria.”
“Yes!” he cheers and fires out his orders, “Get me a diet coke from the fountain. If they’re still serving tater tots, get me some! And don’t forget to get me a fork, some ketchup and a couple of napkins. Thanks, doll .”
“Truong, I’m not your maid. Plus I don’t have time. Linda only gave me twenty minutes off the bleepin’ phones to test out this headset.”
He clears his throat. “Um, when Linda asked you to test it out, I’m pretty sure she didn’t have this in mind.”
“I know. And no tater tots! I really don’t want to deal with Miss Tropicana Orange Juice right now.”
“Girrrrl, that bitch doesn’t deserve to be called Tropicana OJ. She’s that cheap, generic Wal-Mart brand. You know, the fake frozen concentrates that you get in a can, and you have to mix it all up with water.”
“Ugh, those things are nasty.”
He snickers. “She’s nasty!”
“Okay, I’m in the cafeteria. Can you hear me now?”
“I can, but you’re starting to sound a little faint.”
“Stay with me, Truong. I’m heading out to the parking lot now,” I wheeze as I jog out of the building.
Minutes later, I check back with Truong. “What about now? Can you hear me now?” I ask, leaning against my rust bucket Subaru.
“Holy Crapanoly!” he squeals. “I can! It’s a bit staticky, but I can still hear you!”
I’m standing in the middle of the parking lot with my wireless headset glued to my ear and a silly grin pasted on my face.
Arms outstretched, I twirl around and around and around, feeling a rush of thrilling emotions.
In this rare and lucid moment, the iconic image of Julie Andrews pops in my head, the image that still gives me goose bumps. The image that captured her glowing rapture as the cameras panned and swooped through cotton clouds and across the snow covered Swiss Alps.
Flapping my arms like a bird, I burst into song, “The hills are alive, with the sound of muuuuuuuuuuuusic.”
I feel invigorated and liberated, much like Fraulein Maria on that lush, green mountain top.
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!
Merrily, I’m moseying about the Lightning Speed parking lot as if I were in Salzburg, Austria. Without a care in the world, I’m flouncing and romping along my imaginary hillside. Suddenly, I hear Truong’s scratchy voice crackling in my ear.
“Quit futzing around, you have exactly five minutes left.”
I race back into the building with surprising speed.
Sprinting up the stairs, I slam straight into Mika and almost topple backward in the process.
He slides his arms around to steady me. “You okay?”
“I think so.” My voice is wobbly.
Gosh. His abs are rock hard. I feel like I’ve just slammed into a freight truck. I’m still seeing stars when Mika startles me with his outburst. “Maddy! Congrats! I told you you’d get it.”
I flick my hand in a yeah-whatever gesture. “I was up against you, so I wasn’t so sure.”
He shucks, “C’mon, there were two postings; I