and my stomach has been clenched in nerves all day. I’ve been worried sick.
I glance at my watch. It’s not too late.
Time to go pay my best friend a visit at the hospital.
It’s almost 10 p.m. when I arrive at St. Mary’s hospital. A nurse at the front desk directs me to Karsynn’s recovery room. Although I brace myself for the worst, I am not in the least bit prepared for what I see when I walk in. Poor Kars looks like she’s been hit by a UPS truck. Her eyes are shut, but they look puffy and swollen; and her whole face is wrapped up in rolls of bandages.
I bite my inner lip and swallow hard. After composing myself, I tiptoe in and take a seat next to Janis. She’s slumped forward in a chair, appearing to be fast asleep.
Although I try not to make a peep, she stirs and sits up.
“Hey sweetie,” she whispers groggily.
“Hi. How is she?”
“She’s doing all right. They gave her some morphine to help manage the pain.”
We sit in silence, watching Kars in her deep slumber.
Eventually, I ask, “Will Kars have to stay here a while?”
“No. Just for tonight, she’ll be coming home with me tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? Kars looks like she should be here for another week. At least. “So soon?” I ask in a strangled voice.
“Yes dear. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. Her bandages will come off tomorrow.” Janis manages a tiny smile and adds, “Last night, Kars made me cook up a storm. She said it was her last hurrah before six grueling weeks of soft, bland food.” Janis gives a heavy sigh. “That all-liquid diet will be hard on her.”
“Before I forget to ask, what sort of liquids can Kars have?”
“Let me check, I wrote it down here somewhere…” She roots around in her handbag. “Aha! Here it is!” She dredges up a piece of paper. “It’s called Ensure; it’s some sort of protein shake that’s infused with vitamins and minerals.”
I make a mental note of it and decide to take my leave. Kars and Janis need their rest. “Well, I’ll get going now. But I’ll stop by Costco tomorrow and pick up some Ensure.”
“Thanks, Maddy. That’s very kind of you.”
I tread softly to Karsynn’s side. Gently, I place a sprig of fresh basil next to her pillow. I pinched it off her Aerogarden today.
Janis stands up and envelops me in a hug. “Thanks for coming sweetie. I’ll let her know you stopped by.”
My arms tighten around her and I blink back the tears.
“Kars will be okay,” Janis says softly.
“I’ll stop by your place tomorrow,” I say in a hushed voice and quietly make my exit.
Lugging ten cases of Ensure to Janis’ front doorstep is proving to be a pain. But that’s how you save money, by buying in bulk.
And today I learned that Costco can not only save you money in life, but it can save you money even in death.
While perusing the aisles, I walked by some caskets!
Caskets. You heard me right. Costco sells discount caskets.
For some inexplicable reason, I stopped by a casket kiosk and browsed the samples. A dark mahogany casket caught my eye. It was fully pimped out with gold and silver trimmings, and upon closer inspection, I discovered the upholstered interior featured an adjustable mattress and silk cushions for neck comfort.
I thought to myself, “Now why on earth would I even care? I’d be a corpse.” And while flipping through the casket catalog, I happened upon an interesting caption: Eternal Rest.
I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
Curiously, I find myself still laughing right now, hysterically actually, slightly delirious from fatigue. And by the time I’m done hauling all these cases of Ensure, I probably will need a Costco casket.
Ding! Dong!
Janis flings the door open and gawps when she comes face to face with ten cases of Ensure, stacked to the sky.
“Tah-dah!” I exclaim. My eyes shine with pride at the sight of my miniature Ensure State Building.
For several seconds, Janis gapes at the towering structure.
Then she whips her head and stares at me, and then back at the structure again.
“Kars will need to drink plenty of this stuff. And I got some for myself too.” I shrug. “I figure we won’t be needing groceries for a month since I’ll be going on this Ensure diet with Kars.”
She shoots me a circumspect look. “It’s nice that you’re being a supportive friend, but this liquid diet is gruesome. Are you sure you can commit?”
“Of course!” I say firmly. I