Well, that just about wipes out most of my earnings. But, it’s worth it. My heart is bursting with joy.
“I feel like a grown-up now,” I say jubilantly, as we leave our future pad behind.
Kars flashes a full-wattage grin. “Amen sista. We’ll have our very own place.”
Moving day arrives before we know it. Mika offered to help us move, and his offer was snapped up without a moment’s hesitation. We need all the muscles around to lift our bulky stuff, and so our Man-with-the-Muscles Mika is on site, with his shirt sleeves rolled up, raring to go.
Kars puts him to work right away. Upon discovering that the elevator was kaput, Kars conveniently placed herself in charge, appointing herself Directress of Project Move.
Mika rubs his palms together. “Where is this sofa going?”
“Way up to the top,” says Kars, not trying to hide a smirk.
I smile at him sheepishly. “Sorry, Mika, we’re on the top floor and that makes it twelve flights of stairs.”
“Hey, it’s not a problem for me. But will you be okay, Maddy?”
“Me? Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I mutter somewhat dubiously, fully aware of the insurmountable task ahead.
Kars wastes no time in cracking her whip. “Maddy! Mika! Ready, Set, HEAVE!”
Mika lifts one end of the sofa while I grasp the other end. Like Sherpa carriers, we begin our ascent of Katmandu.
“Urnnggh,” I grunt, using every inch of my body, every ounce of strength to lift and mount the steps.
This sofa, donated to us courtesy of Janis, weighs a ton.
Janis treated herself to a brand spanking new Pottery Barn slip-covered sofa, on the assumption that she’ll be rolling in the Benjamins for getting us the jobs.
Apparently, referral money is big money.
While I’m struggling under the weight of the sofa, Mika seems to be doing just fine. He lugs the sofa with ease, while I’m sweating from the sheer exertion, wheezing and panting, trying to keep up. But that’s totally fine with me because right this very minute, I have the best aerial view in Pocatello.
Each time Mika flexes his toned forearms, his T-shirt hitches up a few inches. And the sight of his sun bronzed, chiseled body unsettles me. My liquid eyes linger on his washboard abs; beads of sweat accumulate on his pecs, glistening in the afternoon sun.
Phew. I wipe my brow. It’s getting hot in here.
I find myself entranced by his taut skin, and the tiny trail of fine hair that leads down, down, down to his…Gulp.
I’m hiking down the Treasure Trail. Sexy music playing in the background. I’m wandering down the Happy Trail.
“To the left,” Kars yells like a drill sergeant and I’m thrown off the Happy Trail.
Sweat pouring down my face, I glower at her belligerently. She’s taking her job a little too seriously, barking out orders with a ruthless ferocity as Mika and I clumsily navigate the sofa up the narrow stairs. She has zero compassion for her Sherpa carriers.
“Maddy! Move! Keep MOOOVING!” Kars screams in my ear.
In between ragged breaths, I manage, “Just in case you’ve forgotten Kars, I’m Maddy your BFF, (WHEEZE) not Maddy the Mule.”
Mika’s eyes flash with concern. “You want to take a break?”
“Nurrggghh,” I grunt, wearing a determined expression, but I seriously doubt I’m fooling anyone. “I’m fine. Let’s...nurgh...keep go-ingggg.”
Karsynn booms, “THAT’S RIGHT, KEEP GOING! YOU’VE GOT TEN MORE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS TO GO!”
In retrospect, we could’ve picked an apartment unit on the first floor. But Kars insisted that we live on the top floor.
I had some initial qualms, but after my eyes were treated to the spectacular view from the top, I knew I just had to be up high, scraping the skies.
Now that I’m lugging this bulky sofa up these endless flights of stairs, I think that was quite possibly the stoooopidest decision ever.
What the hell were we thinking?
After mountaineering the sofa up to the very peak, we tackle two queen sized mattresses, two box springs, our fifty inch LCD TV, two headboards, the dining table, the side tables, the lamps, loads and loads of boxes filled with clothes, cooking utensils and all our mindless crap.
By the time we’re done carting everything up to Unit 12 B, I’m about ready to pass out.
“I-I think my back is broken.” I collapse onto the floor and spread my arms and legs out eagle-style.
Even Mika is slightly out of breath. “You okay, Maddy?”
I whimper, “I think I’m going to die.”
Karsynn surveys the damaged goods (Mika and I) with both hands on hips. “You two did a great job.”
I glare at her