a father figure. He wasn’t much of anything. In fact, he was a cheater. I caught him having affairs with several women; one of them was my best friend. And he conned my family out of lots of money. But despite all that, Kars loved him; she thought that if she loved him enough, he’d change.”
I’m stunned. I’d always assumed Kars had an idyllic childhood; at least that’s the impression she gave everyone.
Janis ventures on with a pained expression, “But of course he never changed. And poor Kars had to endure so much. She had this deadbeat dad, coupled with my depression…she now has a warped sense of what love really is. Kars sees love as something she has to work for. She had to work for her dad’s love; she had to work for my love...” Her voice falters and tears rim her eyes.
I reach for a Kleenex and hand it to her.
She takes it and wails, “I was such an awful mother, Maddy, so consumed with my own suffering. I was self destructive and Kars was there the whole time, picking up the pieces. And I would fall over and over again, back into my black hole.”
I sit very still and very quiet.
Janis sniffles. “Now Kars thinks she has to stay and be loyal no matter how much she is being hurt…like she did with her dad...like she did with me.”
“I never knew that about Kars,” I say in a stupor.
“It was bad,” Janis admits. “I’m afraid that’s why she’s drawn to men like that; and it just feeds her insecurities.”
Suddenly, the pieces of the puzzle begin to fall into place.
For as long as I’ve known Kars, she’s always shied away from the good and stable guys. In college, she constantly fell for all the bad boys and the dysfunctional douchebags. Perhaps majoring in psychology was her way of trying to understand herself.
Janis continues, “All those years, Kars was always there for me, and she put up with so much. But no matter what I did, no matter how awful I was to live with, she never left me.”
“But it all worked out in the end Miss Higginbotham.” I wear a tender expression on my face. “You’re all better now.”
“Yes, I’m better, Maddy. My daughter loved me, and continues to love me in spite of it all…and now she thinks that if you truly love someone, you should put up with any kind of abuse.”
I remain silent, not knowing what to say.
“Maddy, I know things have been strained between you two, but Kars needs you,” she says in a pleading voice.
“Don’t worry, Miss Higginbotham, I’ll talk to her. I’ll fix things between us.”
She squeezes my hand. “Thank you.”
I squeeze her hand back. “And thank you for sharing all that with me.”
“Thanks for listening, honey. Kars is a lot like me in many ways; she may put up a tough front, but inside, she’s the biggest butterball.”
I find myself smiling affectionately, just thinking about Kars. She’s rowdy and rambunctious, filled with a wild, uninhibited zeal for life. At times, she can be abrasive but her bark is much louder than her bite.
And there’s also another side to Kars, the sweet and lovable side. The Kars that makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts; the Kars that farts herself awake in the middle of the night.
Janis interrupts my thoughts. “All I want is for the two of you to patch things up.”
“We will.” I give her my most reassuring smile.
“Before I forget, Kars will be having surgery next week.” Janis springs this on me out of nowhere.
Stricken, I blanch. “Surgery? What kind of surgery?”
“Oral surgery. Jaw surgery actually; to correct her overbite.”
“You mean her jaw will be sawed in half, and then bolted back together?”
“Yes,” Janis says, and I gulp.
Feeling queasy, I plod to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water.
“Would you like something to drink, Miss Higginbotham?”
“No thanks, sweetie.” After a tentative pause, she says, “Now I know it sounds pretty bad, but her orthodontist assures me it’ll be okay.”
“But why? Does Karsynn really need to correct her overbite? I mean, she’s had it all these years and she’s been fine.”
“She does.” Janis sighs out loud. “It makes it hard for her to chew food properly; and that leads to indigestion, to heartburn.”
Hmm. Maybe that’s why Kars has always been so gassy. Maybe this surgery will make all her farts go away.
Uh oh, Kars will not be happy about that.
Janis’ brows crease with concern. “Kars will need