damned if I’m going to let us fall apart again. We need to be united. All of us. Gavin’s not going anywhere.”
“Damn right he’s not—”
“For now,” Ox said. He held up his hand as I started to sputter. “Carter, you’ve protected him for a long time, even when you didn’t know what he was to you. But you need to have faith. In us. In him. He’s not a child. He can speak for himself.”
I hated how my eyes stung, hated how weak it made me look in front of all of them. My chest hitched as I tried to catch my breath. “I know that. But you can’t expect me to just stand aside and let you take him from me.”
Ox softened, the red and violet fading from his eyes. “I don’t expect that at all.” His lips quirked. “I think I’d have a fight on my hands.”
“Fuck yes, you would.”
“Then we’ll find another way. Gordo? Anything?”
He grimaced before shaking his head. “Nothing I could find in Thomas’s or Abel’s books. There might be something in Caswell that I missed, but I wouldn’t count on it. I can’t find any mention of a witch surviving an Alpha bite, even when magic was involved.” He rubbed the scar tissue where the raven had once been. “It’s beyond us, Ox. There’s never been anything like him.”
“He bleeds,” Ox said bluntly. “We’ve seen it. Robbie ripped out his eye. And if he bleeds, he can die.”
“I’ll look again,” Robbie said. “I know those books better than anyone here. When we go back to Caswell, I can check to make sure we haven’t missed anything.” A strange look crossed his face, but it was gone before I could be sure about what I saw. “There might be….”
“What?” Gordo asked.
Robbie shook his head. “I don’t know yet. I’ll let you know when I find out.”
“Good,” Ox said. He hesitated before turning to me. “Carter, I’m not trying to put any pressure on you, okay? Remember that when I ask what I’m about to ask.”
I hung my head. “I know what you’re going to say. I’m… working on it, okay? We both are. But you can’t force something this important. Not like this.” I wiped my eyes. “I don’t even know if he wants… this.” Me. “Would you? I mean, Christ, Ox. Why the hell would you want to attach yourself to a sinking ship?”
“I often say I don’t have idiots for sons, so don’t you dare try and prove me wrong now, even if there’s already enough evidence of that.”
I jerked my head up.
My mother glared at me, her eyes orange.
“Mom, I—”
“Stop,” she snapped. “It’s my turn to talk, do you understand? I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth until I’ve had my say.”
“Uh-oh,” Kelly breathed. “Warpath.”
“Shut up,” Joe hissed at him. “She’ll hear you!”
“We can all hear you,” Mark said.
Mom ignored them. She only had eyes for me. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t.
She said, “That man out there. That wonderful man followed you for years. He put himself between you and harm’s way time and time again. And when he thought his father was going to take you away from him, when you were screaming as Livingstone’s magic was pouring into you, he made his choice. He found it within himself to crawl from the depths of whatever feral hell he was in. For you, Carter. How are you so blind to that? I know he’s not what you expected. I know you never thought about one such as him—”
“I don’t care about that.”
Her eyes blazed. “Then it’s time you pulled your head from your ass and got your shit together.”
“Whoa,” Kelly whispered.
“Hard-core,” Joe whispered back.
My mother’s eyes faded from orange to blue as she took my face in her hands. “I wish things could be different. I wish you had all the time in the world. And if I’d….” She shook her head. “If I’d done my job as your mother, you might have understood what it meant sooner. And I’m sorry for that. And I’m sorry that you find yourself in this position now. But don’t ever doubt what Gavin Walsh feels for you. Everything he’s done has been for you. Carter, can’t you see? He loves you. So much so that he was willing to sacrifice himself in Caswell just to keep you safe. He chose you over his father. It’s why he left with him. Not because he wanted to. But because