wolf.”
Tanner snorted. “Okay, big bad wolf, you woke us up because you wanted to ask us something. Obviously you know we’re the best people in the pack to come to. Go for it.”
Gavin didn’t speak. I could imagine him scowling.
“Hey,” Rico said, and it was quieter. Gone was the bravado. He sounded kind. “It’s cool, papi. Whatever you want to ask us. Take your time. We’ve got you.”
“Yep,” Tanner said. “We’re here for you. You’re one of us.”
“That sounded creepy,” Chris said. “One of us. One of us.”
“Shut up,” Rico hissed. “You’re going to scare him away, and then Carter will kick our asses. You know how he—”
Gavin said, “I want. To be better.”
They fell silent.
Kelly slid his hand into mine. I held on for dear life.
“I have loud voices,” Gavin said. “In my head. Not always real. Long time, even before I was wolf. I heard them. It’s easier. To be wolf. Voices quieter. Can focus better. But can’t always be wolf.”
“Big, bad wolf,” Rico said quietly.
“Yes,” Gavin said. “Big bad wolf. But not big bad human. Harder. Need help. To be better human.”
“For Carter?” Tanner asked, and I held my breath.
“Yes,” Gavin said. “And for me. I talk funny—”
“You talk just fine,” Chris snapped. “And if anyone says otherwise, you tell me and I’ll make sure they know who they’re fucking with. No one talks shit about our pack and gets away with it.”
And Gavin said, “Carter says mate. I’m his mate. Important. To him.”
It was the first time he’d said it aloud. The first time he’d acknowledged this thing growing between us. Kelly must have felt me stiffen, because he turned into me, laying his head on my chest, my heart pounding in his ear. His breath was warm on my skin, grounding me, holding me down so I couldn’t float away.
“You are,” Rico said. “But it’s not everything. Even if you and Carter weren’t… you know. You and Carter, you’d still be here because we’d want you here.”
“Really?” and it was said with such fragile hope that I thought I would break apart.
“Yeah, man,” Tanner said. “Of course you would. One of us, remember?”
“You help me?” Gavin asked.
The others were silent, and I knew they were looking at each other. Then, “Anything,” Chris said. “All you have to do is ask.”
Gavin exhaled, and it was there, like the old-growth forest: his relief, green and thick. Oh, the undercurrent was blue, and I thought it might always be, but it didn’t seem to be as big as it once did. He said, “Make me a better human? Can’t remember. How to be good. Big bad wolf, but I want to be good.”
“Yes,” Rico said immediately. “Though you’re already pretty good to us as you are right now.”
“I know,” Gavin said. “But. There’s more. I want to do more.” He was nervous, and I had to restrain myself from getting up and going into the kitchen, to make him understand that he had nothing to worry about. Not now. Not today. Tomorrow, sure. We always had to worry about tomorrows.
I stayed where I was, trusting these men to know what was right.
“What did you have in mind?” Tanner asked. “Chris, you should take notes. Get everything written down.”
“Already on it,” Chris said. I heard him flipping through the notepad he always carried with him. “Go.”
Gavin said, “Clothes. I want. New clothes. I like being naked, but I can’t always be naked.”
Chris snorted. “Yeah, that’s a good place to start. I’m sure Carter won’t mind, but—”
“And Rico has good clothes,” Gavin said. “Dresses nice.”
“What?” Tanner said, sounding outraged.
“Hell yeah,” Rico said, and I could hear how smug he was. “You’ve come to the right place. Chris and Tanner would look like shit if it wasn’t for me. Gonna get you some threads, man. Fucking rock star over here.”
“Whatever,” Chris muttered. “You tried to make me wear snakeskin cowboy boots.”
Rico sniffed. “They looked awesome. Just because you don’t have good taste doesn’t mean you need to take it out on the rest of us.”
“We were thirteen!”
“I don’t,” Gavin said, and his voice was smaller. “Money. I don’t have money. I could… work. To earn it. Somewhere. I—”
“Don’t even worry about that,” Tanner said. “We’ll take care of it. We’re extremely wealthy, in case you couldn’t tell.”
“You are?” Gavin asked.
“Well… no. But the pack is. And I have no problem spending that money. I mean, it’s just sitting there. What else?”
“Haircut,” Gavin said promptly. “Long hair. Gets in my face. Hot.”
“Done