white lights that are embedded to the leafy walls of the enclosure. They blaze against the dark green backdrop and give the feeling of being entirely surrounded by a starry night sky. I look down at my arms and gasp at the patterns the light casts on me. My clothes, a pink and white striped blouse and white skirt, sparkle like a disco ball.
In the middle of the enclosure is a tiny raised platform that’s surrounded by in-ground lights which are all turned to illuminate the bubbling fountain that sits at its center. The water is also lit, and glows an iridescent blue. It’s wondrous and I wish I had my sketch pad.
James must have done this. I can feel him here and feel that familiar surge of panic that assails me every time I remember that I will never see him or hear his voice again. It’s unfathomable, even after a whole year, that he’s gone.
In the safety of my solitude, I cover my face and sob into my hands.
The unmistakable sound of grass being crushed by feet stops my tears as quickly as a light being switched on would have. I turn just in time to see the shadowed figure of a man duck through the opening of the enclosure.
Alarm sends a shot of adrenaline through me and breaks my emotional trance. I scream and run to put the fountain between us.
He stops in his tracks when he sees me. I’m aware that where I’m standing, in the circle of light around the fountain, makes me very visible. But as he hovers just inside the door of the enclosure, he’s cast almost entirely in a shadow. “Carter? Is that you?” I say and step around from my hiding place.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He walks up to where I’m standing and the lights from the platform light him perfectly from head to toe. He’s dressed as always in his signature dark jeans, dark t-shirt and pristine sneakers. He’s a sight for sore eyes. I want to throw my arms around him. But I don’t. I haven’t missed how hard he tries not to touch me. I wish he would but, I understand why.
“Are you just getting here?”
“Yeah, I had some errands to run. I got here, saw the back door open and figured you were out here. But, I got lost. I was starting to think I’d never get out of here.”
“This place is incredible. Did your brother design it?”
“Yes—well, no. It was here when we were kids, but this light show is all him.” I breathe out and then glance at the entrance to the enclosure and imagine him walking in here, a big smile on his face.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
His voice is a gentle nudge that draws me back to the present. I look away from the starry tableau and into a dark green one.
He’s smiling down at me and instead of looking away from the intensity and intimacy I see there.
I smile coyly up at him and try to cut through some of it by slipping back into our easy banter.
“Only a penny? I’m insulted you don’t think they’re worth more.”
“In my experience, most people’s thoughts are worth much less. You should take it as a compliment.”
A bark of surprised laughter bubbles up from my throat and I give him a sideways glance. “So, I should be saying thank you?”
“You’re welcome.”
He takes my hand into his and presses a kiss to the top of it. I’m too surprised to do anything but stare at the top of his bent head. It’s the first time he’s touched me since that first night. He links our fingers, and when our palms brush, I close my eyes at the thrill that runs through me. He stares at the fountain. “I didn’t forget that it’s your birthday. And your brother’s… anniversary.”
And ours, too. I add silently.
“You didn’t?”
“Of course not. I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier. I heard you crying.”
I nod. I’m so touched that he remembered that even though I hate crying in front of anyone, I don’t mind that he heard.
“Happy Birthday, Beth.”
I shake my head slowly.
“Please, don’t say that. This day doesn’t belong to me anymore. I can’t celebrate anything about that day.” I say.
“I get that.” He says. Everything with him is so simple. I never have to explain.
“Why didn’t you apply to art school after all?”
“When I got back from my grandmother’s, Duke and I…well, it just wasn’t feasible.” It’s not