there, the cool ivory keys moving to my command, it was the first time in my life that I’d ever felt in control of anything. It centered me. I practiced relentlessly. Everyone thought it was the perfectionist in me. But really, it was just the only time my mind was still.
But there’s no music more resonant than what I feel around Elisabeth Wolfe. In the rhythm of her breathing, in the way the air around us moves with us, I feel the swell and roll of the notes as melodies and hooks form in my mind.
Beth’s fingers snap in front of my eyes.
“Earth to Carter. You spaced out on me.” I look down at our half empty plates and
“Oh shit. My mind wondered.”
“Yeah, that’s like the fourth time it’s happened.
“No, no…I’m sorry I’ve just got stuff on my mind.”
“Anything you want to talk about.
I don’t want to talk about any of it, but I need to. I need to tell her who I am and the truth about why I’m here.
I’ve been planning on it all day. But now, that she’s sitting across from me and I can see everything I could lose by telling her the truth, I’m nervous as fuck.
“I have to use the bathroom. Be right back,” I hop up and stride across the room before she can respond. I’ll rub one out first. Otherwise, I might do something really embarrassing, like fucking cry.
It doesn’t take long. When I walk out of the bathroom, I feel like I can conquer the world. I’m about to put an end to this just friends shit. I’m going to walk in there, tell her I’m done.
Kiss her until she can’t deny how good we are together and I won’t even have to ask her to come with me. She’ll be on my doorstep with her duffle bag slung over her shoulder. With that vision of victory in my head I walk back into the room.
She’s standing at my kitchen counter reading something.
“Hey—"
The look of ice cold disappointment on her face stills my tongue.
“What is this?” She holds up a picture of Duke that clipped to a dossier of background information I’ve collected on him. .
Fuck.
“Have you been using me to get close to him? Is this some sort of political operative thing?” Her voice gets louder and her eyes narrow with each word. So that, by end of the last sentence she’s screaming and her eyes are barely open slits.
I put my hands up in the universal sign of surrender, but the assertion in her question pissed me off and I need to clear that up first.
“I know I owe you an explanation. But, don’t even go there. This has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you. You have to know that every second we’ve spent together has been real.” I say and take a step toward her.
She gathers the papers up and holds them to her chest.
“Then, explain yourself,” she demands stonily.
I can tell that she’s already made up her mind about whatever she thinks I’m going to say.
“Hear me out. Okay? When I came to Winsome, I thought we were done. I didn’t expect any of this.”
“Carter, it doesn’t matter. Tell me why you have pictures of Duke in a folder full of papers about that murder.” She yells, her voice more frantic than angry. I try to quiet the swirling panic in my chest.
“Because…I think he’s the missing son of the Kendicott lady. The first one.” I wait for the outrage and disbelief. I’m prepared for them. But instead of any of those reactions, she bursts out laughing.
17
WHO WE ARE
BETH
When I saw the file I imagined the worst. That all of this was some ploy by my father or one of his enemies or Duke. I was reeling, sure that my world was about to fall out from beneath me.
The look on his face when he walked in scared me. The laughter was a reflex. It’s not happy laughter, and even though he’s explained what it’s not, I still don’t know what it is. But as long as it’s not that he’s been faking his feelings
“What’s funny?” He asks and I sober instantly when I see the thunderous look on his face.
“Nothing. I’m relieved. But…I don’t understand. Do you know what happened with that family?”
His back stiffens and there’s a perceptible drop in the temperature around us.
“Yes. I do know. Why?” He says curtly.
“It’s just…why would Duke be their son?” I’m still incredulous
“He