His voice is ice cold, but his eyes are burning with hurt.
“I’m sorry, I just --” Is all I can manage before I tear my gaze away from the misery I see reflected on his face.
I don’t know what to say.
As far as he knows I’m still engaged. And I let him fuck against the wall of a public library. He must think I’m scum.
“I don’t know what came over me. I know that was wrong.”
My attempt to mitigate my actions only seems to make things worse.
He comes toward me, stepping into the light so I can see the disdain in his dark green eyes.
“What’s wrong is that you’re leaving here with my cum inside you, and going home to someone else.”
My stomach heaves.
“Carter, none of this should have happened,” I insist.
Like a switch was flipped, his face loses all expression. Even his anger is gone. In its place is a detachment that I’ve seen before. Just never from him.
“Then, let’s pretend it didn’t happen, Elisabeth. I’ll do what I came to do. And you can get back to your life. ” His dismissal couldn’t be clearer if he’d walked over and held the door open.
His back is to me and he and sits down at the machine I turned on for him.
I press my lips together to stifle the urge to call his name and beg him to take me out of this hell.
But no one can do that.
I know this is for the best.
I’m not free to give him anything.
Yes, there’s something special between us, but in so many ways, he’s still a stranger.
A very beautiful one.
It just feels like he knows me better than anyone ever has before.
My heart, as if in protest, gives a painful tug.
But, I ignore it.
Letting that treacherous organ lead me is what got me into this mess in the first place.
And now, it’s gone and ruined everything.
9
TELL THE TRUTH, SHAME THE DEVIL
BETH
“Are sure you okay?”
“Yes. For the third time in,” I look at my phone, “seven minutes. I’m fine.” I give Dina a grateful smile to temper the annoyance in my tone.
She’s a better friend than I deserve and I understand why she’s worried. “The first seventy hours are crucial and you got here in less than twelve. And I told you, he didn’t you know…” I swallow down my embarrassment, my dignity took a flying leap the minute my hysterical phone call sent my best friend to the drug store to get me an over the counter dose of Plan B. “He didn’t finish inside of me.”
“Yeah, that part was hot. Eating you out while he’s still coming? Unf, I mean…I love a man who isn’t selfish in bed.” Dina says wistfully.
“Oh Dina, it was a mistake. And it doesn’t matter because I fucked it all up.”
“So, was this a revenge fuck? Or was this a, I’ve finally come to my senses and I’m picking the right guy this time, fuck?”
“It was neither. Duke and I—” I choke on the rest of my sentence. I can’t tell her anymore lies. Not when she’s done nothing but prove I can trust her. And I want to tell someone. I’m confused and scared and…I need advice.
“Duke and you, what?”
I clear my throat and sit up straight so she can see how serious I am.
“I need to tell you something,”
She sits up straight, too. Her expression as serious as mine.
“Thank fuck. I’ve been waiting. I’m all ears.”
My heart is beating out of my chest.
I’m afraid she won’t respect me anymore. But, I have to trust that she’ll treat me the way I would her.
“Before I start, I want to say that I’ve I hated lying to you. I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that and I’m sorry.”
She smiles, reaches across the table and grabs my hand.
“It’s okay. I know your heart is always in the right place. Now quit stalling.” She says sternly, but with a small, encouraging smile.
I let go of the breath I’m holding.
“It’s a long story. And, I signed and NDA so if you tell anyone, I’ll be fucked.
“I’ve got all the time in the world for you. Always. I won’t tell a soul,” She says in a serious voice.
And then, I tell her the truth about how I ended being engaged to Duke. Not everything that led to it, shame binds those words like barbed wire.
Just the part about my father insisting on me marrying someone and that Duke and I made a deal.
When