almost shrieked. “I just told you we had sex. Hot, crazy, demanding, fantastic, totally well-practiced sex. So no, Jim is not gay. Not in denial. He’s very knowledgeable about sex with a female.”
Eric looked a little green. “What do you need me to stay for?”
Kayla gave him a small smile. “I’m getting there. But first, the uncomfortable part. So yes. We did that. Jim is not gay and not a virgin. He is awkward, weird, and strange about it. You can probably imagine that. He later tried to shun me, but there was something there. Something was really there. Not just sex.”
Kathy didn’t get it. With a sigh, Kayla realized she had to slow down and let Kathy get caught up on all the latest news. “Jim and you? Made a connection? You two hate each other. You always argued and got annoyed with one another…” Her mouth popped into an astounded O. “Wait… that was your foreplay. All the mock-fighting was the heat simmering and I never saw it.”
“No. Definitely no. Ooh, that’s gross. No. I really thought he was weird, intense, and too serious. I assumed he was a total dork who was way too scared to even touch a boob. He annoyed the living shit out of me and I loved to give it back to him. No, I didn’t want him. Not until the exact moment that it happened. I don’t think he was interested in me either. Really. Kathy, it wasn’t like we were waiting until you were out of the way so we could finally do it. It only occurred to both of us when it actually happened. And I’m sorry. I know the code of sisterhood and all was broken in a million ways by this. But it was never intentional. Once it started, all of it grew exponentially, including our emotions and now it’s very strong.”
“You and Jim? You never wrested any true romantic feelings from sex. Not with any man.”
Kayla shut her eyes, feeling tired before finally flopping onto the recliner across from them. “I do now.”
“Oh… wow,” Kathy said softly.
“Are you mad?” Kayla asked.
“No. Just shocked and confused. Still getting caught up, but why the sudden dramatic delivery now? You’re acting all panicked and weird and…”
“He’s in trouble now and I don’t know what to do. This is time sensitive and you need to know the whole story to understand before you can help. I am betraying his confidence by telling you. But I don’t know what else to do. And I… I really need you.”
Kathy pressed her lips together tightly. “Then tell us. If you need me and Jim does too… then you have to tell us.”
Finally. Kayla could allow someone else to take control. Who knew the once mousy Kathy would fill the bill? There were other ways to show strength and leadership, Kayla realized. Jim’s story poured out of her and she began with the young Jim and his many surnames, to the acts of pedophilia he knew his father indulged in, to hiding in the woods and trying to survive, to the Zavarians, to Jimmy finding him and running away again. She tried to explain how Jim felt about women and sex, and his claim and paranoia that the evil of Jimmy was somehow emerging through him. Then she told about Jim finding Christianity. In contrast to the cult on which he was raised, Kayla explained how much of a difference Jim discovered in God and a new morality. He had no way to learn it before. No boundaries to live by. But finally, he found his path and went all in. Practicing celibacy, abstinence and striving for perfection as a man of God, Jim hoped his congregation would approve. His goal was to make up for his father’s depravity. Not just for the believers who wasted their money on him, but mostly for those young, helpless boys.
Kayla finally told them about last night when she discovered him passed out on the bender. She explained that he did it because Jimmy tracked him down after the publicity of the shooting. When she told them that Jimmy threatened to blackmail him, Kathy and Eric looked as shell-shocked as she felt.
“Holy fuck,” Eric softly said.
Kathy had tears streaming down her face. “I had no idea. None at all.”
“You were never supposed to. Your friendship with him probably taught him more about social relationship norms than anything else. He had no lessons. Don’t beat yourself up. No regrets either.