as starkly logical as he did.
Sighing, Jim felt a strange sense of peace and acceptance. Something was missing: fear. Acceptance of all the things he could not affect or change was liberating. Whatever will be will be. Jim preached that sermon to others for years, never realizing until now that he wasn’t living it.
There was nothing wrong about falling in love.
He walked to the front of the church and turned to the crowd. “Hello, and welcome, everyone, I happily invite all of you to worship…” and off he went. As usual, Jim’s voice rang out in the room. People rose from their seats to pray and sing and sat back down to listen to his words.
He waded through the endless handshakes, hugs, goodbyes, thank yous and undying gratitude from his parishioners that meant so much to him. Kayla managed to slip past him while he was talking to an older couple. His gaze lingered on her as she and Eric stealthily kept a low profile. Jim smiled. He compared her reaction to a few months ago. She would have been hanging on him, kissing his mouth and ready to say screw you all. That was then, not now.
They both were changing for the better and for each other.
Finishing up, Jim walked with a small crowd into the reception area, where heaps of praise and many conversations surrounded him. He was handed a generous slice of cake and a cup of hot coffee when someone else tried to engage him. “I’m afraid I’m running out of hands here.” He smiled kindly as he added, “I’d better sit down before I end up with this all over me.”
Weaving through the standing groups of people, he spotted Kathy, Eric and Kayla at a table. Taking the seat beside Kayla, Jim set the plate and coffee down. She smiled up at him and Kathy asked about the sermon. Before he answered her, he leaned over and kissed Kayla’s cheek with a direct and private smile; then he addressed Kathy.
He sipped his coffee slowly. When he turned toward Kayla, her eyes were rounded and her mouth tilted into a small frown. “People are looking at us.”
Jim took a huge bite of the gooey chocolate cake. “Why? Are my table manners that obnoxious? Oh, you should try this cake…”
“No.” Kayla hissed. “They saw you kissing me.”
“I barely brushed your cheek.”
“You still kissed me and Kathy is right there and…”
“Are you saying the cat’s out of the bag? Get ready for all kinds of stares. And lots of mumbling and muttering to themselves. The few bravest and nosiest ones will pry for some gossip so they’ll get their answers. So what?” He grinned and this time, kissed her lips. It was chaste and fast, just a little brush of his lips on hers.
“Jim, I’m serious.”
He swallowed his bite and turned to take her hand, staring right at her. “I am too. No more hiding. Or adjusting my behavior to suit other people. I did nothing wrong. I barely kissed my girlfriend hello and now I am holding her hand. Mr. and Mrs. Charcone over there are also holding hands. So it’s okay. Fine, if I do. I don’t care. Now, have you tried the cake?”
Kayla’s gaze wavered. She searched his face, especially his eyes. He gave her a crooked smile and said, “Pastor Jim has a girlfriend. It’s okay.”
Her lips puckered. “But what if…?”
“How many what ifs could there be? What if my father was a pedophile and he ran a cult? What if my past was revealed? What if Zavarian wasn’t my legal name at birth? What if I have a drinking problem? All of those stories make better gossip than me leaving Kathy for you. That part is entirely between us. The rest is insignificant. I can’t live in fear. I want to just… live. I’ll try to be the best pastor I can be. I’ve always done that. But now I also want to be the best person I can be. The best human being. As you so aptly pointed out. And…” He shrugged, glancing around. Yes, more than a few were looking their way. Eric and Kathy were laughing at something private. Jim wanted Kayla to know how he felt about her finally. “And I love you. You deserve to know that now. I like how it feels to say it to you.”
Kayla swallowed before her mouth opened and a small gasp escaped. “I can’t believe you said that to me now. Here.”
He